This list is a result of the last Saturdays Home Owner Association Annual meeting held in our community.
Ten Things Not to do While Attending a Home Owners Association Annual Meeting
10 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not challenge everyone who disagrees with your point to go outside and settle things. If you do, At best you will come off as a crackpot. At worst several of the bigger neighbors may take you up on your offer leading to a hurried trip to the ER.
9 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not tell a long-winded speaker to sit down and shut up. If you do, at best you will appear to be a bully. At worst the speaker may be a black belt Karate champ who will show you how he breaks cement blocks using only a head. (Yours)
8 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not ask questions just to show how smart you are about the covenants. If you do at best, your neighbors will make a note to avoid you at all costs. At worse, you may be appointed as the rule cop for the neighborhood that will endear you to everyone to whom you point out errors (not to mention the egg on your windows)
7 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not try to convince everyone your idea is the next best thing to whipped bread. If you do, at best you will delay while contributing to the boredom of the meeting. At worst, someone in the crowd will yell at you to shut up and sit down which will expose them to the remedies in item nine, and they will be waiting outside to settle the deal.
6 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not bring your Italian sub sandwich to eat during the meeting. If you do, at best everyone will move away from you. At worst, the biggest guy in the room will invite you to join the sandwich that is now in the garbage can outside.
5 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not get up and ask for donations for your book’s marketing fund. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you have lost your mind. At worst, they will discover you are an author and will warn their family members to stay away from you especially if they see you carrying books.
4 If you are attending an HOA meeting, try to find a babysitter for the kids. If you can’t at best, you will be distracted and lose sight of what is being voted. At worst your kids will see a bunch of new people and ask some potentially embarrassing questions like “why is that man wearing hair on his head that doesn’t fit?”
3 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not try to pretend you haven’t forgotten a few names. If you do, at best your charade will be transparent, and some will believe you to be shallow. At worst, you will run out of introductory statements like “Hi there.” You’ll be forced to admit you’ve forgotten the name of your next door neighbor. He is the man who was kind enough to run out in the rain to help you catch your dog with a loss of creditability that an honest admission would save.
2 If you are attending an HOA meeting, do not be the first to “second” every motion. If you do, at best your neighbors will think you have no friends. At worst you may be seconding things that will cause frictions among the neighbors, and you will be seen as in favor no matter that you didn’t even hear the motion.
1 If you are attending an HOA meeting and the President is reading the agenda, do not sigh and mumble “another long boring meeting.” If you do, at best you are quickly losing a friend in the President. At worst, your outspoken comment may be shared by others but because you said it you will be the one who the neighbors will talk about tomorrow beginning with the words, “can you believe how rude he was?”