Here is the 20th installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. This list has been prepared for all you campers who will be taking advantage of the Thanksgiving weekend. We hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not to do When Camping at a Primitive Campsite
10. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not forget to pack a sufficient amount of toilet paper for your stay. Yes, the added bulk and weight of the paper may seem burdensome in your backpack, but you will appreciate the luxury soon after you’ve eaten too much of the wrong kind of berries.
9. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not store your food in your tent thinking it will be more protected from the elements there. If you do, you will likely be rudely surprised in the middle of the night by, at worst, a bear that will find your leg more delicious than your beef jerky, or, at best, a coterie of raccoons who will steal your pistachio nuts and proceed to eat them loudly in the surrounding bushes.
8. If you camp at a primitive campsite and want to explore some of the nearby hiking trails, do not forget to bring a topographical map of the area in which you are camping. At best Google Maps may not be up-to-date on the hiking trails around your campsite and you may wind up walking in circles while your iPhone quickly burns its battery. At worst the Google map didn’t give you a warning about the five hundred foot drop you encountered on the way to the trail below.
7. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not forget to bring plenty of waterproof Band-Aids for blisters. No matter how many layers of socks you wear and how well-broken in your boots may be, you are likely to suffer at least one blister. Without aid, at best you can expect to spend the rest of your camping trip hopping around in burning pain. At worst you will find yourself trying to apologize to your hiking partner for having to carry you the last five miles.
6. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not forget to bring a water filtration system in case you run out of potable water. The water in the creek near your campsite may look clean and pure, but without a filtration system, at best you may end up wishing you had brought more toilet paper. At worst you might get a close up view of the local ER.
5. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not carry a gun thinking it will be sure protection against any wild animals that you may encounter. For one thing, you are in their territory and if it isn’t hunting season, you have no right to be toting a lethal weapon. For another, if you are afraid of wild animals, then you risk shooting your own foot when you awake to a leg cramp in the middle of the night and think it is a bear gnawing at your calf.
4. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not forget insect repellant. Be prepared to apply repellant every hour unless you don’t mind being a blood donor for all species of biting insects.
3. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not think this is the best time to break in those new Keen Ketchum hiking boots you bought for $160. Chances are your feet will wind up in worse condition than is suggested in item #7, and you will be driven so crazy by the painful blisters that you will throw your new hiking boots and maybe yourself off the nearest cliff.
2. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not try to make like Grizzly Adams and befriend any orphaned bear cub or other wildlife you come across. Chances are the bear cub is not orphaned, its mama is in smelling distance of you, and you’ll soon find yourself having to explain to a very impatient mama bear why you have her precious cub in your hands.
1. If you camp at a primitive campsite, do not leave your trash behind. Take out what you pack in. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a Far Side cartoon where the deer and the bear join forces to wipe every trace of you from their habitat.
Fiction Favorites 
Very sound advice today. Luckily in SA we don’t have to worry about bears and raccoons. We do have baboons, but they haven’t figured out how to open tents. Yet. Those in the urban areas can drive and use firearms, however.
#1 Yes! Yes! A million times yes! Add to that it’s just good manners to cover up your toilet paper (and accompanying waste product) with rocks or dig a hole and bury it if the soil allows. Ohter campers don’t need to see where you did your business.
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Thank you for the comment. Loved the visual of baboons driving and using firearms. You are talking about the police force right?
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No. In Cape Town actual baboons have become so used to humans that they’re a real pest. They have gotten into people’s cars (there was a big scare a few years ago on Table Mountain when a parent had strapped her child into the car seat and a baboon hopped in the other side next to the child…I might have been exaggerating about the firearms and the driving bit). At camp sites they’re notorious for grabbing anything outside your tent and then making a run for it. It doesn’t really matter whether it’s edible or not.
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Good morning, John. I enjoy the list as always 😉 Happy Monday!
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And to you as well
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All great advice. I’m sure if I tried to depend on a GPS or Google Map App while hiking, it would end in disaster. Those things never pay attention to ‘small’ things like cliffs, one way streets, buildings, or other obstacles.
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I ended up at a dead end once. Never again.
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When coming back from Upstate New York and trying to get to Long Island, my GPS spent the entire time arguing that I go toward Canada. Even when I was by NYC.
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I simply don’t use it unless I am really lost.
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I should start doing that. It’s the long distance trips that get me worried.
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It’s been years I went camping. But reading this makes me want to pack it up and just disappear in the woods for days, mucking around in my wellies. Maybe I should consider that some time soon.
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Any time you can muck around in willies you should.
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Huh. Cheeky.
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Wellies LOL
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Yeah yeah yeah.
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Ahh… this makes me want to go camping! I just bought a new tent for my boyfriend on his birthday (a bit of a selfish gift, since I’m hankering for some wilderness time, but hey).
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I’m sure he would be glad you were along.
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Very sound advice – and enjoyable as always!
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Thanks Katie
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I would be the one with the dead iPhone walking around in circles. I also would need the paper as I am challenging enough to want to try all the wild berries that I would need to eat if I was lost.
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I picture this and need to LOL
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