Here is the 33rd installment of Ten Top Lists of What Not to Do by Marie Ann Bailey of 1WriteWay at http://1writeway.com and John W. Howell of Fiction Favorites at http://johnwhowell.com. These lists are simu-published on our blogs each Monday. We hope you enjoy.
Top Ten Things Not To Do While Doing Your Taxes
10. While doing your taxes, do not allow the cat to sit on your keyboard. If you do, at best you may miss a couple of deductions. At worst, your kitty may just add a few zeroes to your tax bill.
9. While doing your taxes, do not have a hot drink sitting on some of your worksheets. If you do, at best you could tip it over and ruin the papers. At worst, you could tip it into your lap and jeopardize your love life till you heal.
8. While doing your taxes, do not allow your do to play with the computer cord. If you do, at best you may run out of battery. At worst you may need to run out to the vet to help Fido overcome his electro shock treatment
7. While doing your taxes, do not allow the family to play video games on your computer between sessions. If you do, at best some memory may disappear. At worst, the IRS may get a Madden football game instead of your 1040.
6. While doing your taxes, do not leave your computer without saving your file. If you do, at best you might have to remember all your half-truths all over again. At worst ,you may be unable to reconstruct your perfect return and might end up owing more that you had planned.
5. While doing your taxes, do not think the IRS is okay with rough guesses or estimates of the numbers. If you do, at best you will never hear from the IRS. At worst, you will have to explain your numbers during an audit to a disbelieving agent with a cattle prod.
4. While doing your taxes, do not forget to sign your return even if you don’t believe it to be true. If you do, At best the return will bounce back. At worst, the lack of signature will trigger a visit from NSA who will want to know all about you.
3. While doing your taxes, do not try to get away without attaching a check if you owe money. If you do, at best the government will send you a nasty note. At worst, you will find out how little a sense of humor the IRS really has.
2. While doing your taxes, do not drink alcohol even if you think it will help. If you do, at best you might be shocked by the amount you deducted. At worst, you may be shocked to find you have already mailed the return on which you took too many deductions.
1. While doing your taxes, do not be discouraged enough to decide not to file. If you do at best you will never sleep again. At worst, you may get your living expenses paid, but will have a roommate who wants to go steady.
Fiction Favorites 
Good morning, John. Great list! I have a friend who did something similar to #2. Instead of wine, she on Vicadin for a shoulder injury when she did her taxes. She wound up getting audited because her calculations were totally off. (Fortunately they didn’t penalize her; just had her explain her math.) I also know someone guilty of #1, only he purposely didn’t file his taxes as a matter of protest. He wound up doing a perp walk in front of his neighbors 😉
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Good morning Marie. All good information and hopefully none of us need to leave the house with a raincoat over our head.
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🙂
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I’m allergic to cats, so I have a litter trained rabbit… who acts just like a cat, walking across my keyboard and tossing my book onto the floor and then plopping herself down between me and the keyboard. (I let my husband do the taxes BTW)
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Loved this. I never had a pet rabbit, but friends all loved them. Thanks for the story. Also pass the list to husband.
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I will. Thanks.
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#2 should be saved for after taxes. Though, I go to an account. All I have to do is gather all the information, which can be a pain in itself.
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True enough. I used to have an accountant and then I did a run off with Turbo Tax and the accountant lost.
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I’m hoping my accountant doesn’t hate me. First year filing as an Indy Author.
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He’ll love the billable hours
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Number one is my greatest fear. It amazes me that if you owe them money for capital gains they want it immediately, but if they owe you money you can only claim up to $3000.00 a year on capital losses.
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Pitfalls of being a capitalist in a socialistic system.
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My ex husband was talented. He could do our taxes, eat and watch ESPN at the same time. Did I mention EX husband??? 😉
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heh heh. Yes you did. There may have been some talents missing.
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As they say in Port Aransas, Don’t mess with Taxes!
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So true. revenuers are not to be trifled with for sure.
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[…] John also co-writes a Top Ten List with another favourite person of mine, Marie Ann Bailey. Check out their latest, Ten Things Not to do While Completing Your Taxes. […]
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