Top Ten Things Not to do In Preparation for a Tropical Storm Named Bill.

~ John W. Howell

This list is inspired by watching as the community prepares for the landfall of Tropical Storm Bill. Not all of the list were seen on this one storm but have been gathered from a number of sights on similar occasions.

a tropical storm Bill

Top Ten Things Not to do In Preparation for a Tropical Storm Named Bill.

10 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not rush to the store to buy week’s worth of paper goods. If you do, at best you might have a slight overstock situation. At worst, your overstock situation could be interpreted as a hoarding disorder which will require family and friend intervention. (Also, if the storm is severe enough you’ll have a lot of soaked paper goods on hand)

9 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not throw a tropical storm party. If you do, at best you will need to house all the party goers until the water recedes from your neighborhood. At worst, you and your guests might end up on your rooftop hoping the water gets no higher and rescue is imminent. (What you don’t know is the rescue crew has set low priority on large groups who obviously should know better and have been over served)

8 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not count on beer as having enough liquid potential as to replace water in your precious reserves. If you do, at best you might have a hard time staying hydrated and coherent at the same time. At worst, you may find yourself trading family heirlooms for a cold bottle of water.

7 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not count on items run by electricity for safety and comfort. If you do, at best you will only have a few hours of power outage. At worst, the power will be out for an unreasonable amount of time and so your battery driven items will go dark. (You may not miss Candy Crush but look out when it is time to call 911)

6 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not ignore the weather warnings. If you do, at best you may find it inconvenient when you can’t get around since you are not prepared. At worst, the sound of your roof going airborne will come as quite a shock along with the need to swim for your life.

5 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not drive through water that is over the road and you do not know how deep. If you do, at best you will make it across and only have wet feet. At worst, you and your car will give new meaning to the term “amphibian vehicle”. (Don’t forget cars do not float forever)

4 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not continue to play outside when it is lightning. If you do, at best your game will be played with a sense of worry. At worst, you and your fellow players will collect enough jolts to qualify as an independent power source for the local utility.(They will thank you at the memorial service)

3 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not think following instructions by city authorities is for sissies. If you do, at best, the storm will make landfall in someone else’s front yard. At worst, you will be battered a bruised and dependent on the care of those you thought so cowardly. (And they had to stay around to take care of you)

2 If you are faced with a tropical storm and are told to evacuate, do not try to leave with everything you ever owned. If you do, at best your possessions will take valuable space needed for water and food. At worst, you will not be able to keep all these things with you and will eventually have to off-load them at the side of the road. (If left in the house chances are they would be perfectly safe)

1 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not lose your calm. If you do, at best your example will cause others to be concerned. At worst, once everything is normal again your behavior will be one of the stand-out events of the whole experience. (And no one will leave it alone)

35 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to do In Preparation for a Tropical Storm Named Bill.”

  1. The electricity one is always weird to see people have trouble with. I remember a lot of people in Florida getting DVD’s ‘in case the power went out’. I’d ask them about their laptop’s battery life and they’d tell me that they planned on using the TV. Apparently, power outages ignore entertainment systems.

    Good luck with the storm.

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  5. I found some giggles here, but hope never to contend with anything as serious as a tropical storm. I still remember Hurricane Hazel from the 50s and we weren’t even in her path.

    Oh sure, the DVD player will work when the electricity goes out. 😀 😀 😀

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  8. I’m just glad to know you are safe. I’ve seen the terror and devastation up close. It’s not pretty. If I ever get into another one like Charley, I’m calling on you to keep my spirits up 🙂

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  9. When I arrived in Houston, just in time for Ike, my dad asked me if I was evacuating when we realized the storm was headed straight for us. I told him I was watching to see what other Houstonians did. He asked me to please watch the smart ones. 🙂 He didn’t want to see me holding on for dear life next to a tree.

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