Top Ten Things Not to do In Preparation for a Tropical Storm Named Bill.

This list is inspired by watching as the community prepares for the landfall of Tropical Storm Bill. Not all of the list were seen on this one storm but have been gathered from a number of sights on similar occasions.

a tropical storm Bill

Top Ten Things Not to do In Preparation for a Tropical Storm Named Bill.

10 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not rush to the store to buy week’s worth of paper goods. If you do, at best you might have a slight overstock situation. At worst, your overstock situation could be interpreted as a hoarding disorder which will require family and friend intervention. (Also, if the storm is severe enough you’ll have a lot of soaked paper goods on hand)

9 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not throw a tropical storm party. If you do, at best you will need to house all the party goers until the water recedes from your neighborhood. At worst, you and your guests might end up on your rooftop hoping the water gets no higher and rescue is imminent. (What you don’t know is the rescue crew has set low priority on large groups who obviously should know better and have been over served)

8 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not count on beer as having enough liquid potential as to replace water in your precious reserves. If you do, at best you might have a hard time staying hydrated and coherent at the same time. At worst, you may find yourself trading family heirlooms for a cold bottle of water.

7 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not count on items run by electricity for safety and comfort. If you do, at best you will only have a few hours of power outage. At worst, the power will be out for an unreasonable amount of time and so your battery driven items will go dark. (You may not miss Candy Crush but look out when it is time to call 911)

6 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not ignore the weather warnings. If you do, at best you may find it inconvenient when you can’t get around since you are not prepared. At worst, the sound of your roof going airborne will come as quite a shock along with the need to swim for your life.

5 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not drive through water that is over the road and you do not know how deep. If you do, at best you will make it across and only have wet feet. At worst, you and your car will give new meaning to the term “amphibian vehicle”. (Don’t forget cars do not float forever)

4 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not continue to play outside when it is lightning. If you do, at best your game will be played with a sense of worry. At worst, you and your fellow players will collect enough jolts to qualify as an independent power source for the local utility.(They will thank you at the memorial service)

3 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not think following instructions by city authorities is for sissies. If you do, at best, the storm will make landfall in someone else’s front yard. At worst, you will be battered a bruised and dependent on the care of those you thought so cowardly. (And they had to stay around to take care of you)

2 If you are faced with a tropical storm and are told to evacuate, do not try to leave with everything you ever owned. If you do, at best your possessions will take valuable space needed for water and food. At worst, you will not be able to keep all these things with you and will eventually have to off-load them at the side of the road. (If left in the house chances are they would be perfectly safe)

1 If you are faced with a tropical storm, do not lose your calm. If you do, at best your example will cause others to be concerned. At worst, once everything is normal again your behavior will be one of the stand-out events of the whole experience. (And no one will leave it alone)

35 comments

  1. The electricity one is always weird to see people have trouble with. I remember a lot of people in Florida getting DVD’s ‘in case the power went out’. I’d ask them about their laptop’s battery life and they’d tell me that they planned on using the TV. Apparently, power outages ignore entertainment systems.

    Good luck with the storm.

    1. Thanks for the comment. Storm passed.

      1. Good to hear. What are you going to do with the extra paper goods?

      2. Or Etsy with a bunch of fun party hats!

      3. Glad/relieved to know that one is history. Hugs.

      4. Yup. Only three more named storms to go (projection)

  2. Very good advice. I was once invited to a storm party but I had the good sense to decline.

    1. Nothing like being swept away with a bunch of friends

  3. The words in parenthesis made it a whole lot funnier. Especially 9. Loved that. Thanks for the chuckles, pal. Bravo!

    1. Sometime the parenthetical comments are necessary. Thanks for reading.

  4. Hope it wasn’t too terrible, John! Your sense of humor is intact, though… 😉

    1. Piece of cake. We caught the left side which has less rain and wind. (Still four or so inches)

  5. I found some giggles here, but hope never to contend with anything as serious as a tropical storm. I still remember Hurricane Hazel from the 50s and we weren’t even in her path.

    Oh sure, the DVD player will work when the electricity goes out. 😀 😀 😀

    1. Ha ha ha Thanks Tess

  6. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Love it.. brings back memories of hurricane parties in Houston. We would all bring our supplies to the main club house and party until the all clear. But then again we were young and foolish!! Safety is ther first issue…

    1. Thank you sally for the reblog. We did a lot of things that were foolish but so much fun.

  7. Funny and so true! I particularly like your comment about the roof going airborne.

    1. Thank you so much. it made me chuckle when I wrote it

  8. I’m just glad to know you are safe. I’ve seen the terror and devastation up close. It’s not pretty. If I ever get into another one like Charley, I’m calling on you to keep my spirits up 🙂

    1. We can Skype till the power goes out.

  9. When I arrived in Houston, just in time for Ike, my dad asked me if I was evacuating when we realized the storm was headed straight for us. I told him I was watching to see what other Houstonians did. He asked me to please watch the smart ones. 🙂 He didn’t want to see me holding on for dear life next to a tree.

    1. I loved that comment. Watch the smart ones. I guess you did,

  10. Great advice, John! I know tropical storms are nothing to laugh about…but…your post made me laugh. Thanks!

    1. Gotta laugh. It is all we can do.

  11. Be safe and well, John. 🙂

    1. Will do. Thanks

  12. As usual, great advice .. .but I’ll summarize with a song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVsW_6AomOQ 🙂

    1. Don’t mess with Bill is good advice. Loved this song low those many years ago. (Motown y’know)

  13. Tropical Storm Bill… sounds like a guy I used to know in college. He’d also show up at my door uninvited!

  14. Love swallowing my advice with a side of humor! Thanks, John!
    Melinda

    1. Thank you Melinda for the visit and comment. 🙂

      1. So very welcome, John.

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