This post originally ran on August 3rd, 2015. I think there is still some good advice in here.
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The inspiration for this list came from spending over 3800 Sundays so far and not making the best decisions always on how to spend the day. Now that this is Monday, maybe there is enough time to plan for next week. Hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Sunday.
10 On a Sunday, do not clean out the garage. If you do, at best, you will only rearrange the junk since trash day is at the end of the week. At worst, you will find several long-lost repair projects that you totally forgot to finish. (Hiding them again may not be practicable)
9 On a Sunday, do not use a leaf blower. If you do, at best, your neighbors will call upon the Almighty to forgive you. At worst, the person next door who you thought was a minister turns out to be a coven leader and has drawn a funny symbol on your front lawn. (You begin to notice the hair on the back of your hands getting thicker)
8 On a Sunday, do not pack up the family for a drive in the country. If you do, at best, you will be carting several sullen children with you. At worst, you will be sitting in traffic for hours. (And you have yet to enter the freeway.)
7 On a Sunday, do not go to the grocery store. If you do, at best you’ll be wondering why all these people can’t shop during the week while you are working. At worst, you will comment to someone named Brutus, who just happens to be unemployed and decides you need a lesson in manners. (You notice his fist is the size of your head just as the lights go out.)
6 On a Sunday, do not think you can go to the park for a picnic at the last minute. If you do, at best you will enjoy your lunch in the car. At worst, you will try to sneak a spot next to the Smith Family Reunion sign only to discover the Smiths have their own Hell’s Angles chapter. (And your Ralph Lauren cap is now part of a keep-away game.)
5 On a Sunday, do not think you can check out with a six-pack of beer before the lawful time. If you do, at best, you will win a bunch of friends as the line comes to a halt waiting for the manager to void the sale. At worst, the loudspeaker announcement of “Alcohol violation on register seven” will have the entire store in stitches, knowing by looking at you that you aren’t trying to pass a fake ID. (But are just plain dumb)
4 On a Sunday, do not go any distance without checking to see if your destination is open. If you do, at best, you will have given the family a ride in the country. At worst, you will have a full mutiny on your hands that will take some ice cream volleys to quell. (Not to mention the loss of leadership respect.)
3 On a Sunday, do not attempt to take a nap before you check with everyone to see if they need anything. If you do, at best, everyone will need something. At worst, they will need something, and you are the only person who knows the location of the something. ( The request will come in one at a time.)
2 On a Sunday, do not invite the whole family to your house for pot luck dinner. If you do, at best, a few will pass, and there will be enough to go around. At worst, all will attend, and most will have forgotten to bring anything other than an enormous appetite. (Not to mention a 102-degree temperature and runny noses.)
1 On a Sunday, do not try an experimental recipe that you found in the Sunday supplement. If you do, at best, you will be substituting some ingredients that you did not have on hand to mixed results. At worst, the mixed results were manifest in several of your household members rushing quickly from the table. (With the sound of large quantities of running water covering several noises)
Fiction Favorites 
Sound advice, John…
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Thank you, Jaye. 😊
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Good morning, dear John,
we like your top ten things not to do. They tell us a lot about the US and, of course, they are funny.
Thanks for sharing
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
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Thank you, Klausbernd. Glad you like the feature. 😁
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do not do anything… just stay in the bed until Monday :)))
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Now you are talking. 🤣
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Especially don’t use the leaf blower at 6:30 am.
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To the leaf blower prohibition, I would add using your chain saw and shooting off your gun when at least on of your neighbors is trying to write.
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Don’ forget the practice session with the bazooka. 😁 Thanks, Liz.
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Don’t give this Yahoo of a neighbor any ideas for additional weaponry . . .
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Hahaha.
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Doesn’t that just kill you when people do that? Thanks, Jill.
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I’ve seen a few people try #4 and then argue with the cashier. (Yes, I was grocery shopping on a Sunday.) 🙂
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You are allowed since you work. 😁
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😀
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😊
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Running noses? LOL. Great list, John. It hit home on many counts and left me laughing in the process. 😁
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The I have accomplished my mission, Gwen. Thanks for letting me know. 😁
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I think most of these still ring true, John. I love the Smith family reunion bit.
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Can you imagine? Thanks, Dan
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Sundays certainly have changed. Your list reminds me of that time when Sundays were pure delight. After all, no stores were open (except for the occasional gas station) and a ride in the country (either to go to Grandma’s or to look at the corn) was pure pleasure — mostly because it always ended with ice cream!
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I remember when a Sunday was the time to relax and pretty much enjoy living. We are trying to create that feeling with visits to daughter’s house and her visits to ours. So far so good. 😁
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All excellent, John. Sunday should be a day of rest!
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One would think. 😳
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Yup. The landscapers show up in the common area next to my fence at about dawn.
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What is up with that anyway?
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Heat mostly. When it’s 100 by noon, they like to be finished.
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Okay. Not here. They start at dawn and go all day.
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This really threw me off when I woke up and saw the title. Had to check the calendar to see if I could crawl back into bed.
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Hahaha. Sorry about that. Don’t be confused cause next week is the Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Monday.
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I assume getting out of bed is 1-10.
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Sounds like a good idea.
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Brutus, the Smiths, and the Ralph Lauren cap were hilarious. Loved this Top Ten, John!
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Thank you, Jennie.
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You’re welcome, John.
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Excellent advice, John. I had to laugh at the Smith Family one, since my maiden name is Smith. 🙂
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That is a good one, Jan. You Smiths sure get around.
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I can attest to the truth of #7, John. It’s always crowded on Sunday, either in the mornings around church-time or the afternoons (when people seem to have nothing “better” to do and want to hang around in the air conditioning). Great list!
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Hahahaha.
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You do give the best advice. Of course, being retired makes a huge difference … any day can be Sunday and there needn’t be any Mondays!
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That is true. I have outlawed Mondays around here.
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Great idea! Make every day Friday!
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Good idea.
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Hah! OUR garbage day is Monday so Sunday is perfect 😉
As for using my guests as guinea pigs for a meal… they always are 😉
The rest is very sound advice for sure 😉
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Thank you, Dale. I’m glad you liked it. 😁
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Of course 🙂
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😁😀😁 Impressive Top, dear John! Sunday should prove its name. So, no picnics, far destinations, etc. 🙂 🙂 🙂
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I used to love staying in bed reading the paper till noon on Sunday. Thanks, Maria.
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😊😊😊 The best place to be on Sunday, dear John. You were right! 🍸🍸🍸
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🥂Dear Maria.
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This has to be one of my favorite lists that you’ve ever written. So much wisdom rolled into the humor.
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Thank you, Pete. There are about 360 of them so maybe their might be some more that become favorites. 😁
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# 6 is my all-time favorite!
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Thanks GP. I actually laughed writing that back then.
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LOL!!!!!
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😊
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As always, John, excellent advice, especially the one about grocery shopping on a Sunday. My gosh, I thought I’d beat the crowd by going a little earlier than usual yesterday. It was a mob scene, especially at the deli – they were slicing all the wrong things, too! 😉
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Oh dear. Sounds horrible, Barbara. Not a good place to be on Sunday.
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Definitely not!
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😊
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In reference to #9: In the early days of the automobile, because it was so new, some people used it only for special occasions (plus there were no paved roads at the time). During the week, they would get about on the family horse, hence, these same people (the father of the family, of course) would load up the wives and kids once a week on Sundays and take them for a drive “in the country.” Hence (again) the term “Sunday Driver.” These people were not very adept at driving the new-fangled machine.
In reference to #5: This one is out of date. I’ve tried to buy beer in a grocery store two minutes before noon on a Sunday. The damn scanner would not accept it. Two minutes later, everything was kosher. Then I took my family out for a Sunday drive.
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Thank you for the historical perspective. I recognize the out of datedness of number five but not much funny about waiting for the two-minute clearance on a self-serve scan. Well, maybe there is something funny in the folks behind not willing to wait. Thanks, again, Andrew.
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As for Number 9, I’m getting rid of my leaf blower . . just in case. Coven? No thank you. And as for Number 2, you had me at “Do not invite the whole family,”.
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Hahahaha. Thanks, Pilgrim.
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De Nada, Sheriff
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😊
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For some reason #4 sounded familiar. Lol. Remember the days before the internet? I think that happened to me a lot! 🙂 Great list, John.
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We never knew if anything was open or not. Just took a chance.
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Great Sunday advice, John 🙂
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Thanks, Denise.
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#10 absolutely applies to us. We’ve tried it before and when trash isn’t picked up until Thursday, it’s just shuffling the piles around.
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I’m not sure there is a good day to clean out the garage. Thanks, Teri. 😊
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Reblogged this on NEW OPENED BLOG > https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thank you for sharing, Michael.
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Sorry John, i am late for this posting, but i fully agree with you. 😉 xx Michael
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Thanks, Michael.
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You really had me at the first line…tomorrow is Monday. So funny. I also love, the picnic in the car. sigh
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Yes. Those car pik niks were fun. Next week is Top Ten Things Not to Do on a Monday.
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I see. You have a zillion of these looks like.
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Let’s see I started in 2013 and did 52 a year so it has been about eight years. That means I have 416 of them. 😊 My goodness.
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Oh my. That’s impressive.
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I guess I could go another seven years with what I have written. But given the interest we have in history, that doesn’t seem like a good alternative. 😊
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No it doesn’t. Off the table.
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😊
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