Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else

~ John W. Howell
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

 

This post was originally published on February 24, 2014. It was co-authored by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since we all write reviews (or should), I think it will still be helpful.

Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else

10  When writing a book review, do not provide a five-page synopsis of the book before you even start your review.  If you do, at best, readers will just skip the synopsis, and your efforts will be wasted.  At worst, readers will confuse the synopsis for your own work, tweet and blog about the review, causing it to go viral and guaranteeing a negative reaction by the author.

9  When writing a book review, do not simply say, “I liked the book.  It was really good.”  Readers want to know what you liked about the book.  If that is all you say, at best, your reviews will simply be ignored.  At worst, readers will ignore you in droves when they see you use the same response for everything from Fifty Shades of Gray to Five Billion Years of Solitude and decide not to take your reviews seriously.

8. When writing a book review, do not simply say, “I hated it.  It was a waste of time.”  If you really didn’t like a book, explain why so the reader can make an informed decision whether or not to read it.  If you don’t, at best, readers will just ignore your review, shrugging you off as someone who probably didn’t even read the book.  At worst, readers will take exception to your condescending attitude and begin to flag all your reviews as “Not helpful,” quickly causing your reputation as a book reviewer to go south.

7 When writing a book review, do not include spoilers unless you make it clear at the beginning of your review that it contains spoilers.  If you do, at best, only a few readers will be disturbed by your spoiler review, and they may even kindly point out your error to you.  At worst, a flame war among reviewers of the book will erupt, with you likely getting a call from the author’s pro wrestler brother-in-law, Tiny.

6  When writing a book review, do not think suggesting the author quit writing and take up dishwashing for employment is funny.  If you do, at best, readers will take you for the troll you are and ignore you.  At worst, you might find yourself suddenly and uncomfortably associated with bullies and brutes, a group of people who tend to eat their own.

5  When writing a book review, do not think the reader needs to know every typo, grammatical error, or other such boo-boo in your review.  If you point all these out, at best, your annotations might simply distract the reader from fully understanding what the book is about.  At worst, you may be hearing from the author’s attorney because you essentially duplicated the book in your review in your zeal to show your editorial prowess.

4  When writing a book review, do not think that speed reading through a stack of books and then spending a weekend marathon writing reviews will necessarily stoke your reputation as a book reviewer.  If you do, at best, readers might be impressed but still wonder about your sanity for producing 60 reviews in 48 hours.  At worst, near the end of your marathon reviewing, you conflate Goldfinch with the Peterson Field Guide to Birds, and your reviews become the laughingstock of Amazon reviews.

3  When writing a book review, do not think that just reading a book’s first and last chapter is enough to enable you to write an intelligent book review.  If that’s all you do, at best, you’ll wind up just writing “I liked it” or “I hated it” because you really can’t say anything more. At worst, you get called out by another reviewer when you mention the hero survives World War II when, in fact, the book is about zombies, and the hero turns into one in the penultimate chapter.

2  When writing a book review, do not think you need to become an authority on the author of the book you are reviewing.  At best, the author will be a stay-at-home mom with two-year-old twins who will feel flattered you think she actually lives a life of romance and danger.  At worst, the author could be a lawyer trying his hand at writing fiction and who will not take kindly to your suggestion to the effect: Since he writes from the point of view of a serial killer, he must have experience as a serial killer.  In this case, the lawyer may decide to role-play his novel with you as the victim.

1  When writing a book review, do not think you will gain fans and followers by being snarky and rude in your reviews.  Okay, you probably will, but consider what kind of fans/followers they will be.  At best, they will just be people with nothing better to do than be anonymously rude and snarky on the web. Eventually, you’ll tire of the negativity, change your Gravatar, and start writing constructive reviews.  At worst, the people following you could hack into your account and download every Gravatar you’ve ever used and all your email addresses, blogs, and previous book reviews. You will never escape them, making your experience a riveting plot for a dystopian novel. (Whew)

 

66 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else”

  1. I liked this post. It was really good. 😀

    Haha! Just kidding 🤣 but seriously, yes, good points to note on what not to do (see above) when writing a book review. I especially liked when you said don’t be snarky to gain fans, too many people try to do that nowadays. Happy Monday, John!

    Liked by 8 people

  6. I’m convinced there are readers out there who may not even read the book, but get some kind of perverse pleasure out of trashing it and the author. I’ve seen some terrible ones.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. I am a cut to the chase kinda gal, so #9 made me laugh. The people who write reviews on Goodreads…oh my gosh. They write volumes! I’m going to send this to them…😂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great advice, John. I always check to make sure the book was purchased. I tend to trust those reviews more than those written by reviewers gifted the book.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Great advice! Thanks for sharing your insights. I write book reviews on my blog and Goodreads, and for me, it’s always a balancing act between crafting a thoughtful review and keeping the process efficient. I often get caught up in the details—so much so that, even though I usually don’t include all those details in my reviews, I still spend far too much time getting through them. Your post has definitely given me some perspective—I’ll keep these tips in mind next time I sit down to write a review!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. All good tips! I’m still chuckling at a few of them (#6) – I had a reviewer once say that I must have been following his guide for writing unbelievable plots! And then he pointed readers to his book. I’m amazed Amazon didn’t reject it. Over from Dan’s link on Bluesky!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I liked your point about describing why someone liked a book. There isn’t much point in leaving a review if readers don’t tell us why they did or didn’t like a book.

    I imagine people think of it as a critique on Amazon, but I find it a little goofy when people give a book one star because it’s not bound properly or something to that effect. It doesn’t mean reviewers shouldn’t share that, but to give a book one star based on that seems silly.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Clever and still relevant, yes! Hard to imagine a reader writing some of these things and yet, I am sure it has happened. Hopefully not number 2. 😱 Good to read the author bio, I suppose. 👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I rate this post with 5 Stars!

    Now, that said, this is a rather serious post because I do think it is important to 1) have read the book 2) not be nasty just to be nasty 3) be honest 4) not nitpick on the types… though, the only time I would consider mentioning such would be if there were so many, I couldn’t even enjoy the book – hasn’t happened but came close with one I read – and not beta read! 5) not write a friggen novel as a review! 6) and please, mention spoilers if you are going to give away the plot…

    Okay, I’ll get off my high horse, now.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Pingback: Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else – STUFF TO SAY!

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