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This post was originally published on February 24, 2014. It was co-authored by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since we all write reviews (or should), I think it will still be helpful.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else
10 When writing a book review, do not provide a five-page synopsis of the book before you even start your review. If you do, at best, readers will just skip the synopsis, and your efforts will be wasted. At worst, readers will confuse the synopsis for your own work, tweet and blog about the review, causing it to go viral and guaranteeing a negative reaction by the author.
9 When writing a book review, do not simply say, “I liked the book. It was really good.” Readers want to know what you liked about the book. If that is all you say, at best, your reviews will simply be ignored. At worst, readers will ignore you in droves when they see you use the same response for everything from Fifty Shades of Gray to Five Billion Years of Solitude and decide not to take your reviews seriously.
8. When writing a book review, do not simply say, “I hated it. It was a waste of time.” If you really didn’t like a book, explain why so the reader can make an informed decision whether or not to read it. If you don’t, at best, readers will just ignore your review, shrugging you off as someone who probably didn’t even read the book. At worst, readers will take exception to your condescending attitude and begin to flag all your reviews as “Not helpful,” quickly causing your reputation as a book reviewer to go south.
7 When writing a book review, do not include spoilers unless you make it clear at the beginning of your review that it contains spoilers. If you do, at best, only a few readers will be disturbed by your spoiler review, and they may even kindly point out your error to you. At worst, a flame war among reviewers of the book will erupt, with you likely getting a call from the author’s pro wrestler brother-in-law, Tiny.
6 When writing a book review, do not think suggesting the author quit writing and take up dishwashing for employment is funny. If you do, at best, readers will take you for the troll you are and ignore you. At worst, you might find yourself suddenly and uncomfortably associated with bullies and brutes, a group of people who tend to eat their own.
5 When writing a book review, do not think the reader needs to know every typo, grammatical error, or other such boo-boo in your review. If you point all these out, at best, your annotations might simply distract the reader from fully understanding what the book is about. At worst, you may be hearing from the author’s attorney because you essentially duplicated the book in your review in your zeal to show your editorial prowess.
4 When writing a book review, do not think that speed reading through a stack of books and then spending a weekend marathon writing reviews will necessarily stoke your reputation as a book reviewer. If you do, at best, readers might be impressed but still wonder about your sanity for producing 60 reviews in 48 hours. At worst, near the end of your marathon reviewing, you conflate Goldfinch with the Peterson Field Guide to Birds, and your reviews become the laughingstock of Amazon reviews.
3 When writing a book review, do not think that just reading a book’s first and last chapter is enough to enable you to write an intelligent book review. If that’s all you do, at best, you’ll wind up just writing “I liked it” or “I hated it” because you really can’t say anything more. At worst, you get called out by another reviewer when you mention the hero survives World War II when, in fact, the book is about zombies, and the hero turns into one in the penultimate chapter.
2 When writing a book review, do not think you need to become an authority on the author of the book you are reviewing. At best, the author will be a stay-at-home mom with two-year-old twins who will feel flattered you think she actually lives a life of romance and danger. At worst, the author could be a lawyer trying his hand at writing fiction and who will not take kindly to your suggestion to the effect: Since he writes from the point of view of a serial killer, he must have experience as a serial killer. In this case, the lawyer may decide to role-play his novel with you as the victim.
1 When writing a book review, do not think you will gain fans and followers by being snarky and rude in your reviews. Okay, you probably will, but consider what kind of fans/followers they will be. At best, they will just be people with nothing better to do than be anonymously rude and snarky on the web. Eventually, you’ll tire of the negativity, change your Gravatar, and start writing constructive reviews. At worst, the people following you could hack into your account and download every Gravatar you’ve ever used and all your email addresses, blogs, and previous book reviews. You will never escape them, making your experience a riveting plot for a dystopian novel. (Whew)
Fiction Favorites 
I liked this post. It was really good. 😀
Haha! Just kidding 🤣 but seriously, yes, good points to note on what not to do (see above) when writing a book review. I especially liked when you said don’t be snarky to gain fans, too many people try to do that nowadays. Happy Monday, John!
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Thank you, Laura. You made me laugh on the first line. 😀
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This post puts it out there to people who don’t know how to do a book review. I must admit I struggle to do them myself.
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A lot of people do, GP. One easy way is to just rate the book with out any comments.
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Seems like sound advice.
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Excellent advice, John. I am behind on writing reviews, but I am trying to avoid these mistakes.
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Excellent advice! I would add, if the book comes from Amazon damaged, don’t give it a one-star review. Take your complaint to customer service. That’s what they’re for.
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I’m convinced there are readers out there who may not even read the book, but get some kind of perverse pleasure out of trashing it and the author. I’ve seen some terrible ones.
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Terrific advice! 😉
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Great reasonable advice, John. I’ll favorite this page and hope I can absorb the logic behind the tips.
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Good advice. Personally, I only review books I would honestly give three stars or more. If I can’t, then I just move on. The book wasn’t for me.
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I am a cut to the chase kinda gal, so #9 made me laugh. The people who write reviews on Goodreads…oh my gosh. They write volumes! I’m going to send this to them…😂
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Good advice, John. I am reading a book for review now that makes be want to engage in nos. 3 and 4!
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You always make me smile with your advice, John. Great stuff again.
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A charming way to look at writing book reviews. Like writing in general…it takes a knack to doing it well. 😉
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Great advice, John. I always check to make sure the book was purchased. I tend to trust those reviews more than those written by reviewers gifted the book.
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Great post. I’m glad I haven’t seen #5 in years.
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Me too. Thanks, Charles.
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Glad I don’t review on amazon!
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😊
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While this is meant to humorous, it’s also got a lot of truth in it. Thanks for sharing and for the smiles today, John!
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Glad you liked it, Jan. Thanks.
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Wonderful advice, John. As I was taught, sometimes the less said, the better (especially if you didn’t like the book!)
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Captivating
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Thank you.
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Great advice! Thanks for sharing your insights. I write book reviews on my blog and Goodreads, and for me, it’s always a balancing act between crafting a thoughtful review and keeping the process efficient. I often get caught up in the details—so much so that, even though I usually don’t include all those details in my reviews, I still spend far too much time getting through them. Your post has definitely given me some perspective—I’ll keep these tips in mind next time I sit down to write a review!
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Thank you for the lovely comment, BK
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Wow 😄
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😊
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Number 9 might not make for a helpful review, but I’ll take it. Lol. The rest are spot on, John. 🙂 🙂
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I would too, Diana. 😀
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All good tips! I’m still chuckling at a few of them (#6) – I had a reviewer once say that I must have been following his guide for writing unbelievable plots! And then he pointed readers to his book. I’m amazed Amazon didn’t reject it. Over from Dan’s link on Bluesky!
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Welcome from Dan’s Bluesky link. Amazon only rejects legitimate reviews.
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Gosh, and all these points are still true because all these “things not to do” are still being done! Ugh. I really love this list 🙂
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Yes, they are. 😊 I love it too.
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My favorite has to be “I hated it, it was a waste of time”. Of course, I can see how such a review might prove problematic for the reviewer . . .
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The reviewee might have a problem with it, too. Thanks, Marc.
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Haha!
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😊
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Very practical ideas that are always in trend! Thank you, dear John. That’s pity that few readers think this way…😂🍻🍤🍤🍤
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Well, maybe I can convince a few. Thanks, Maria. 😊
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Oh yes. About half the people on Goodreads could stand to read this article. . .
Quite amusing, thou art!
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Thank you for the lovely comment, Journey. I do try to keep my readers smiling. 😊
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I liked your point about describing why someone liked a book. There isn’t much point in leaving a review if readers don’t tell us why they did or didn’t like a book.
I imagine people think of it as a critique on Amazon, but I find it a little goofy when people give a book one star because it’s not bound properly or something to that effect. It doesn’t mean reviewers shouldn’t share that, but to give a book one star based on that seems silly.
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That is a symptom of being human. Silly is as silly does.
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Clever and still relevant, yes! Hard to imagine a reader writing some of these things and yet, I am sure it has happened. Hopefully not number 2. 😱 Good to read the author bio, I suppose. 👍🏻
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I think it is good to understand the author, too. Thanks, Michelle.
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You’re welcome, John and yes. 👍🏻
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😊
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I chuckled at #10, John because I just saw one recently. I can tell which reviewers did your #3.
Great advice, John. ☺️
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Thank you, Miriam.
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I rate this post with 5 Stars!
Now, that said, this is a rather serious post because I do think it is important to 1) have read the book 2) not be nasty just to be nasty 3) be honest 4) not nitpick on the types… though, the only time I would consider mentioning such would be if there were so many, I couldn’t even enjoy the book – hasn’t happened but came close with one I read – and not beta read! 5) not write a friggen novel as a review! 6) and please, mention spoilers if you are going to give away the plot…
Okay, I’ll get off my high horse, now.
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That is an excellent summary; Dale and I support you 100%
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🤗
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😊
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That spoilers thing is a biggy.
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It is, and so many do it. Thanks, Jacqui.
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I hate to read a review that has spoilers. Some people cannot help but put them in, and it ruins the book for me.
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I agree.
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Great advice!
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😀
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Can I say: I really, really liked the words. They was wrote good.
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An author would get a laugh out of that one.
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[…] Top Ten Things Not to Do When Writing a Book Review on Amazon or Anywhere Else […]
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No.9 reminded me of “I think the dollar is tremendous,” as usual a deeply analytical, carefully reasoned, nearly academic quote by Mr. Trump that I read yesterday.
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Of course, his orders will eventually reduce the value of the dollar in the converted secular worldwide economy.
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