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Top Ten Things Not To Do When in the Presence of a Camera
10. If you are tempted to take a selfie (why, we don’t know) to show your friends your new tan lines, do not send the picture to anyone. If you do, at best, you may show too much line. At worst, your picture may go viral on the internet for the next million years.
9. If you are with friends and a picture is being taken, do not stick out your tongue as if you are Miley Cyrus. If you do, at best, you will look as graceful as Miley Cyrus. At worst, like your mom said, “Your face may stick that way.”
8. If you are tempted to take a selfie in the bathroom, do not take a picture until you check the background. If you do, at best, there may be some stray clothes lying around. At worst, that shot of the commode may be enough to get an unexpected visit from the health department and possibly a letter from a concerned citizen about the lid being in the up position.
7. If you are tempted to take a selfie, try to make an expression that does not resemble a duck. If you don’t, at best, you will look like any one of a million selfies. At worst, your lips may be entered in the most obviously botched category at the Botox convention by a well-meaning friend and win.
6. If you are in charge of taking pictures of a friend’s get-together, do not ask everyone to say cheese. If you do, at best, you will have different group photos that look the same. At worst, you will have walking dead expressions, and your outing will resemble the before shots at the orthodontist.
5. When posing for a group picture, do not put up two fingers behind the head of the person next to you. If you do, at best, you will ruin what could have been a nice picture. At worst, everyone in the photo will be able to attest that those two fingers represent the number of drinks that it takes to get you blotto.
4. If you have had too much to drink, do not show up in each picture with your red solo cup. If you do, at best, you will have a chronicle of your behavior. At worst, you will document your own downfall and will have to face the inevitable slide show every time you and your friends get together.
3. When taking pictures of the scenic wonders of America, do not take photos from a moving vehicle. If you do, at best, you might catch a tree or two in the blur. At worst, you will have lovely landscape colors that resemble finger paints to show, as a result of your trip.
2. When trying to capture the romantic nature of the moonlight over the lake, do not use a cell phone camera. If you do, at best, you might get what appears to be a pinhead in the night. At worst, you will have a close-up view of your fingerprint that can be used as a new form of identification.
1. When taking pictures of pets, children, or anything on the ground, do not stand as tall as you are and take the shot. If you do, at best, you will get shots of little frightened beings resembling something out of The Hobbit. At worst, since you are not down at their level, your angle of attack will produce nothing but the tops of the innocent little heads.
Fiction Favorites 
All good points, John, but number one is getting harder to comply with. Getting down is easy. Getting back up…
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Ha ha ha. Thanks for the laugh, Dan
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This is a fun post especially for people who take a lot of photographs.
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Thank you, Robbie. You resemble that. 😊
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I forgot about that duck face trend. Glad I don’t see it anymore.
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So true. Glad it is gone.
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# 1 is the most true statement, but # 7, sorry but I think ALL selfies look alike!! lol
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They do. The arm leading to the face turned upward.
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Good points, all. Selfies…I still have to wonder ‘why??’
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People love themselves I guess.
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All seem like logical advice. You should write an instructional book. Can we expect floor level pictures of the Frenchies this week? Tell Tempest no duck faces.
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I should try floor level. The problem is if they see me they tend to run away.
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Aw. Mine would mob me.
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Well, there is that too.
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Taking photos is fraught with peril! 😱
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Much peril for sure. 😀
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Good advice, John. I’ll try to keep it mind when I take photos. 😊
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Great, Tim. Thanks for the lovely comment.
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Excellent suggestions. Though I have, on occasion, gotten a great shot from the car/train 😉
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Yes, I have too, but very rarely. Thanks, Dale.
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It ain’t easy!
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Nope.
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Ha! Funny, John. Family pictures are always an entertaining time. 🙂
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Yes, they are. Thanks, Jan
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Hilarious, John. I particularly loved #1 and the reference to The Hobbit. 😄
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I’m glad you enjoyed it, Gwen. Wishing you an easy week.
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I like that wish! Thank you. 😊
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Nothing beats easy. Well, maybe happy, but that can be hard to define. Thanks, Gwen.
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Great advice, John. I’ve done number 2 and had a wonderful pinhead pic of the moon.
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Ha ha ha. I keep trying, and I get the same pinhead.
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You go places I never thought of about why you should not take such a picture. Very clever, John.
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Glad you liked it, Pat.
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oh, what would the “selfie generation” say to these rules! I’m giggling at the thought..
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They would take exception to my post in all likely hood. Thanks, Kana.
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😎
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The Monk could’ve written #1, John. However, he’d have added that one pose = one cookie treat!! Isn’t it funny to watch people take selfies in public??
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I love it when they take them and then walk into a puddle or something.
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Soooo true. In my neighborhood, every millennial and Gen Z’er has their home and yard wired with so many surveillance cameras you’d think you’re in a prison. I can’t begin to count all the cameras pointed at trash bins in alleys. Go figure.
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Trash bins? That is weird.
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I know right? Gen Z’ers here tend to be very fearful and suspicious of the world. Anyone not like themselves are referred to as ‘sketchy.’ 🙄
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Yes. You are so right.l
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Excellent advice, although I’d say 95% of the population do not/would not follow it. It’s amazing how long #5 has been gong on, long before cell phone photos or selfies.
I have this weird thing I say when taking a group picture of family or friends. Instead of saying “CHEESE!” I say “SMILE”! It works every time. 🙂
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Smile???? How unique and creative. *slaps forehead.
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🙂
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Pictures don’t lie. That red solo cup in every picture will give you away every tune. #5 is still around. All good advice in 2025.
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Thank you, Jo. Two fingers and the red solo are the bane of good photos. 😀
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This is good advice. As for #7, people need to stop with the duck faces. It has gotten old. I can add, don’t take the photo before anyone is ready. I’ve done that mistake and I ended up with a photo everyone hated.
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I think the surprise photos are sometimes the best.
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Yes except when one guy is looking up the ceiling, another has a funny face, another has his eyes shut, and yet another is in the middle of talking, etc.
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True.
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All good advice. I don’t get selfies either.
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Thanks, Jacqui.
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Thank GOD I’m not a camera guy.
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Me too.
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I took photography in school, but I never fully appreciated all of the hard work that went into getting a picture just right. I think I’m the target group (lack of skill) they made iPhones for…now all I have to do is make sure the camera is facing out instead of at me…
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I’m with you. Although my camera was beautiful (for its time), I never got great shots.
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Funny stuff, John. Most definitely avoid the bathroom when it comes to photography. 🤣
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Good advice. 😀
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Oh, this is good! I was especially amused by the ‘selfie in the bathroom’ advice – when I need a new head shot I often take them in the bathroom because the light is good, and all too often notice the loo in the background later!
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The loo is the least of the backgrounds that need adjusting. Thanks for the visit, Terry. 😊
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I did capture a few blurred trees yesterday. 🍂😃
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Great tips, John. And I’m guilty of #2 & 3! 😁
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😀
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What I learnt from the post…that selfies were a thing even in 2014. Thank you, John!
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Yes they were. Some pretty bad ones, too.
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Really funny, John. I laughed out loud at #5.
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Great. That’s what I like to hear.
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Wonderful!
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😊
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[…] Find out what not to do: In the presence of a camera […]
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Thank you for sharing my post, Sally. 🤗
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Excellent advice, John. I have never taken a selfie but if I do, I’ll keep this in mind. All the best.
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Please do.
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Funny and very wise advice, John!
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Thank you, Olga.
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😂😂😂😂😂Terrific list that should be shared among our tourists👍Thank you, dear John!🍤🍤🍤🍻
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Good idea, Maria. 🥂🍰
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They’re all good suggestions. I got nothing to add … except maybe a helpful hint for #4. If a lot of pictures are being taken, switch out the red Solo cup for a coffee mug.
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That is a good one, Andrew.
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