Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay
This list was first published on September 16, 2013, by Marie Ann Bailey and me. Since American football is going strong, and you might be invited to a viewing party, this list may come in handy.
Top Ten Things Not to Do When Invited to an American Football Viewing Party
10 When invited to a football party, do not show up in your favorite team’s uniform if the game that is being watched does not include your team. You will immediately let your host know that you have no interest in the game and that you only came to drink up the beer and eat as much of the food as possible.
9 When invited to a football party and asked to bring a dish, do not think you are fulfilling the host’s wish by hauling in a big bag of store-bought popcorn and a liter of diet soda. Actually, you won’t be fulfilling anyone’s wish with that contribution.
8 When invited to a football party and you are welcome to bring a guest, do not think this includes a stranger you grabbed off the street or a distant member of your family. The host probably intended you to bring a date or spouse and won’t appreciate feeding extraneous random people.
7 When invited to a football party and the host has no intention of starting a gambling pool, do not think it is your duty to correct what you think is an oversight. The host probably doesn’t want to put his guests on the spot to cough up a twenty, which they will ultimately lose.
6 When invited to a football party and none of the guests seem to understand fantasy football, allow them to remain blissfully unaware of the intricacies and complexity of the game that you and your office mates play every week.
5 When invited to a football party and you see that the host does not have a fifty-inch HDTV, do not offer to buy everyone a drink at the local sports bar just because it has four such TVs. Your tab may end up being more than you can afford, and your host may end up wrapping one of the TVs around your head.
4 When invited to a football party and the host does not have your brand of beer, do not turn up your nose and declare loudly: “Well, if you don’t have any, I’ll just have water.” Go ahead and sacrifice your delicate taste buds to the beer that resembles carbonated defrost, which your host is serving. After all, you don’t need to drink a barrel of it, although a barrel may be what you need to forget why you cared.
3 When invited to a football party and you need to describe a great play, do not pick up a curio and ask the crowd to imagine it as a football. It may be that the curio you just passed into the kitchen, which was dropped by your wide receiver, was a Fabergé egg handed down by your host’s great-great-great-grandmother.
2 When invited to a football party and you realize the game is the most boring thing you have ever watched, do not pick up the remote and change the channel to a movie. You may just offend not only your host but also the rest of the party. They may be reminded of the time the TV network cut off the last two minutes of the Super Bowl to air the movie Heidi. You take a chance on vigilante action.
1 When invited to a football party and the game is over, it should be your signal to leave. Do not wait for your host to switch off the TV and start clearing the living room of empty beer cups, pizza boxes, and paper plates of gnawed chicken wings. Your host is not making room for you and your guest to spend the night on the couch. They really want you to return to your own couch, no matter what they say.
Fiction Favorites 
I haven’t been to many such events in recent years, John, but I saw other people doing several of these when I was younger. I doubt the situation has improved, so this list is still good.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I have been out of the loop as well. Let’s hope those who do attend find the helpful list.
LikeLiked by 2 people
For me, being “out of the loop” was a congenital condition, born on the other side of the planet. But with migration of relatives and friends in one direction and expansion of American businesses in the other, I think I am pretty clued on to what to avoid at a football party even though I will probably never be invited to one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Never say never. 😀
LikeLike
Politely come with a plausible excuse to stay home and read a good book or play with your pets…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great alternative, Pat.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We were at a distillery yesterday. VA law says that distilleries are limited to serving three ounces to any customer so we seldom hear drunks or load voices. Yesterday was an exception. Football was on, staff was aloof and I could not wait to escape and return to the car. (For me in this distillery, it was an exception, normally I enjoy visiting there, the two-three times a year, we stop).
LikeLiked by 1 person
Leave it to the footballers. 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person
We used to go to Super Bowl parties. I think 9/10 of them were boring and over in the first half. That’s when I migrate to the kitchen for another drink, more food and conversation!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always felt the same at Super Bowl parties.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good advice, John. It’s best to consider others at gatherings.
LikeLike
I think so, too, Tim. Thanks.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d say BYOB!
Least night Sienna was singing let’s go Niners watching the Warrior game. Haha! Don’t bring your baby if she doesn’t know football from basketball. 😹 it was pretty cute 🥰
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll bet it was cute. Is BYOB Bring Your Own Baby? 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
I wouldn’t mind the popcorn contribution. Popcorn seems to increase my appetite.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, there you go.
LikeLike
I’m much more of a stay homer these days.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t been to one of these gatherings in years, so thank you for reminding me why!! #1 is especially important. Maybe some people think that, if they “help” with the cleanup, they’re entitled to crash on the sofa, too?!?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Always fun to have a night before guest on the couch on the morning after.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Only if they get up early enough to make breakfast … or at least go out and bring back fresh donuts!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now that is a good idea. We would insist on breakfast tacos.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLike
I get too nerve-racked watching the games on TV, so mostly hit the ‘refresh’ button while checking the scores online. Yeah, so I guess don’t bring a laptop to a viewing party, either? 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would be a definite no. Thanks, Lois.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve never been invited to an American football party but if I ever am, I now know what to do. Thanks, John 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. Just watch the game and eat. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many truisms in these points, John. I remember a time, the only time, when, as a new employee, I was invited to a steak party. When I asked what to bring, I was told ‘a salad to pass’. I did, I brought salads. The host and hostess were kind enough to share their steaks with my wife and me. I was never invited again. Hey, he only told me to bring salad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like mixed communication.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I blamed the other guy as I sheepishly explained it to my embarrassed wife on the lonnnnng drive home. Both the host and I ended up in the sales department😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Loooong ride home, I’ll bet.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When invited to a football party, follow the others and play pool… somehow that always happens (if there is a table, obviously).
When inviting heathens, remember to stow away all breakables.
Not a football party, but I invited a late friend and her husband. We did not have his type of beer so my husband ran to the store to get some. After the guy finished our whole stock, Mick was ready to get get more. Get this. The guy says, oh no, don’t bother. I have a case in the car. No words. Also, never another invitation over, either…
LikeLiked by 1 person
“A case in the car,” would call for the death penalty. I asked a guy what brand of beer he liked. He said “Michelob Ultra.” I bought a case so as to not to run out. He only drank my $100 bourbon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right? Mick was flabbergasted.
Of course he did…
My father used to being cheap beer to our gatherings and then drank our good stuff. After a couple of times, we all turned on him. E stopped. 😏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. I could see the interdiction now. “Okay, Pops. Step away from the expensive brew.” 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
It was more along the lines of: Hey Dad, stop bring this shit beer coz we are not going to allow you to drink ours!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lucky for me, no one will invite me to a football party. Football bores me senseless.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see that, Liz.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There are some good tips in there for a lot of parties; besides football parties too. These were practical tips for realistic situations, Husband and I couldn’t have a footfall party – no huge tv in the living room. Cheers for your team, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Can always do the backyard. 😀
LikeLike
Ha! Ha! Good advice all the way around. 🏈🤪
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Jan
LikeLike
Mike and my oldest son have played Fantasy Football for the past several years, and I still don’t understand it, lol.
LikeLike
That is good advice. Another I can think of is if your team, the team everyone is rooting for at the party, starts losing, don’t switch team and start rooting for the other team.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀 That would show a lack of loyalty for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My son did that but he was young and did not like losing teams
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
“When invited to a football party and none of the guests seem to understand fantasy football, allow them to remain blissfully unaware of the intricacies and complexity of the game that you and your office mates play every week.”
I understand this has gotten exponentially worse since you first posted this list.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I believe you are right. I am still in the dark on the fantasy football mystery.
LikeLike
Thankfully, I’ve never been invited to a football party. For me, that would be akin to a torture party! Good article, John!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ha ha ha. Thanks, Jim. I could just see your wide eyes on the couch with all the fans jumping up and down around you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
All solid tips Boss. The jersey thing, I’m sorry I just do not understand the jersey thing at all. And the beers . . come on people! Take one for the team!
And do you notice how these football viewing parties usually involve everything BUT viewing? I mean, you have the diehards sitting right up front on their phones checking on their parlays and fantasy league while everyone else does everything else!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true. “Could we have a moment of silence for one play?”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Seriously LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another great Top Ten List, John. I had to chuckle about #5. These days a 50 incher seems so tame with those gigantic sized screens these days. Some of them nearly put IMAX theatres to shame.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know what you mean. Just shows how 10 years or so can change the landscape.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Great advice, John.
LikeLike
Great list, John! After reading it, I can say I’m grateful that I’ve never been invited to a football party 😉
LikeLike
Great advice, John! 🏈😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Lauren.
LikeLike
[…] Head over to check the list: Ten top things not to do when invited to a football viewing party […]
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for the feature, Sally
LikeLike
Great list John. As an NFL girl, I’d like to add to your list: If husband and wife are both NFL people, don’t invite a large group of couples to your Superbowl party because most wives don’t know football and want to gossip through the whole game instead of pay attention. 😍
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think if you are going to watch a game, you should watch it. Thanks for the add, Debby.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😊
LikeLiked by 1 person