Sometimes understanding the inner workings of the coffee machine is difficult, given its expressionless exterior. The machine certainly has inner quirks that show up as a lack of performance. For example, this morning everything looked normal as the machine was powered up. Then this message appeared briefly on the touchscreen.

The normal screen appears, but the mystery of the machine’s message is still with me. Two touches of the coffee icon produced a normal hot, steaming 8oz cup of soothing syrup, whose aroma began calming the Notre Dame Marching Band sound in my head from not enough caffeine. The first sip went further, and all that is left is a slight sound of that tiny triangle, which is seldom heard. The second sip is accompanied, as we all know, by the cacophony of the combination of the Doorbell Westminster chimes and the rock-crumbling bark of Twiggy and Tempeste warning the idiot who can’t read the “Do not ring the doorbell sign that death is imminent. A quick toss of a couple of Bennie Bomes into the soundproof room, followed by a door slam. The quiet reverberates like Disturb’s Sound of Silence

A look at the security monitor confirms that the doorbell ringers are Laurel and Hardy. With a sigh, the security shutdown process is begun.

The B-2 bomber squadron and the F-35 escort must be called off. One call does it. The tank corps and gunboats are told to stand by. The Apache helicopters are rerouted. The electric shock fence is turned off. The drawbridge over the quicksand is lowered. The robot attack dogs returned to their charging station. The laser-guided machine guns on the roof are set to caution. The nest filled with rattlesnakes put away. The bucket filled with 1000 marbles is locked down. The tear gas canisters shut off. The electrified welcome mat set to off. The fall-away sidewalk into the pit filled with spikes is locked. The hornet’s nest closed. The water cannons are set to safety. Bear traps are set to off. Peregrine Falcons perched on the roof above front door fed. The vat of boiling oil set to warm.  Monty Python’s Harmless Little Rabbit’s cage is closed. The front door is opened.

Hardy steps forward to hand me the clipboard and envelope. Laurel taps him on the shoulder. He responds by asking Laurel to give him a minute. Laurel continues to tap. “What is it?” Hardy demands. “You are standing on my foot.” The clipboard goes back with a fiver attached, and once inside, the envelope is opened to reveal a message from Linda Hill

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “inner/outer.” Use one, use both, use ’em any way you’d like. Bonus points if you use both. Enjoy!

To see what others have done with the prompt, visit Linda’s post. Here is the link:

https://lindaghill.com/2026/09/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-september-26-2026/

Inner/Outer by John W. Howell © 2026

‘I see you repeated using the prompt.”

“Yeah, I have been getting a lot of folks who wonder where the prompt was used.”

“You could bold it.”

“But then the dialog turns into prose.”

“Too complex for me. How did you choose Laurel and Hardy today?”

“They are a favorite of mine.”

“They say slapstick humor is the lowest kind.”

“I never said I was sophisticated in my laughs.”

“I do think they are funny.”

“As a kid, I loved watching them. I saw a few reels recently, and they are still funny.”

“I’ll take your word. I haven’t seen them in years.”

Speaking of years, did you call Uber?”

“Yup. Right over there.”

Photo by Dan Antion

“Now you are talking. I get dibs on the stretcher.”

“Not sure that’s going to happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because there is a catch.”

“Of course there is. What is it?”

“We have to transport a guy from the hospital to the care facility.”

“Why the heck do we get into these situations?”

“It’s all about the money. The trips are free.”

“I think paying would be better.”

“Ah, come on. Think of the experiences. You know first aid, don’t you?”

“Huh? No, I don’t.”

“Don’t tell the driver. I told him you did.”

“What if something happens?”

“It won’t. The guy is perfectly healthy.”

“Why is he in an ambulance then?”

“He is 102 years old.”

“Great. What if he has a heart attack or something?”

“Just follow the directions on the defib machine.”

“Give me a Voodoo Ranger.”

“You’ll be fine.”