In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
Here comes the wife. I’ve got this snake right where I want him. If I stop playing, he will strike, and I am a dead man.
“Good morning Ravi.”
“Mum hum.”
“Is that all you can say on a glorious day like today?”
“Mum hum.”
“We have some things that you and I need to discuss.”
“Um?”
“Could you put down that silly punji and talk to me?”
“Muff a luffla.”
“I can’t understand you. I think you are playing off key too.”
“Mamfp.”
“Okay if you are not going to stop, here’s what I have to say. First of all you seem to spend a lot of time here in the marketplace yet I don’t see any mony coming home.”
“Ruggerle rap.”
“That’s not all. We have the need to fix the roof. Where are we going to get the money?”
“Merp?”
“My shoes have holes and I can’t even affored the newspaper to fill them.”
“Uk?”
“Those paans make my mouth water yet we can’t affored even one.”
“Upt.”
“I give up. Either stop this stupid nonsense with the basket and snake or I’ll have to ask my mother to come live with us to help.”
“Eeek. Alright my dear. I’ve stopped playing and soon your troubles will be over.
“You going to get a job?”
“Better. My snake and insurance policy will be all you need.”
This list ran on September 21, 2015. I think it is still relevant. I hope you enjoy it.
***
This list is inspired by having some unpleasant experiences with items purchased without having the luxury of trying them out first. Although extreme, this list is representative of some of the potential disappointments a buyer can experience in shopping online.
Top Ten Things Not to Buy Online
10 If you are shopping online, do not buy that cosmetic kit that promises an instant youthful appearance. If you do, at best, you’ll learn that what seems too good to be true is too good. At worst, you will need an intervention by an expensive dermatologist just to remove the facial mask. (And don’t you look good with a Jim Carrey green mask?)
9 If you are shopping online, do not buy that cheap juicer that claims to be as good as the $700.00 version. If you do, at best, you will still be able to use a spoon to eat the pulp that is all you can produce. At worst, the overload on your electrical system as the juicer tries to extract carrot juice will kill your lights and the entire East Coast grid. (And you thought your last electric bill was high)
8 If you are shopping online, do not buy that used car advertised to run like new. If you do, at best, you might get at least fifty miles before your first breakdown. At worst, the claim of running like new had small print where they were referring to a new Yugo. (Yes, that smoke you smell is coming from the engine compartment)
7 If you are shopping online, do not buy that bargain-priced pacemaker. If you do, at best, you may wonder why you are getting the Chicago Bears radio broadcast in your chest. At worst, you may figure out the thing does not keep pace according to the Western ecology. (Yes, it is noon, and you are sound asleep)
6 If you are shopping online, do not buy the do-it-yourself appendix removal kit. If you do, at best, you will have a fool for a patient. At worst, it will be difficult to perform the work and read the instructions. (Yeah, the picture of the appendix looks fuzzy to me too.)
5 If you are shopping online, do not buy those pharmaceuticals that are half-priced. If you do, at best, you won’t be ingesting pharmaceutical-grade cement. At worst, you will have to deal with why your symptoms won’t go away. (Cornstarch is a miracle product but not for the treatment of illness)
4 If you are shopping online, do not buy that half-priced airplane engine part. If you do, at best, you’ll have plenty of warning before it fails, which is not critical. At worst, you will learn maybe too late Murphy’s law of airplane parts which states, “The criticality of a plane engine component is directly proportional to its original cost.” (So the half price was attractive up to the point where the ground and you meet un-expectantly)
3 If you are shopping online, do not buy that hotel room at 70% off. If you do, at best, you will only suffer from no view other than the brick wall outside your window. At worst, you will return from your cheap trip only to discover you have brought home some rare and highly reproductive things that move fast when the lights go on. (That is an interesting rash you have there)
2 If you are shopping online, do not buy that robot kit priced way below what you have seen elsewhere. If you do, at best, you may be able to assemble it even though several parts are missing. At worst, once your new robot is ready, you realize it now has control over your house and a Napoleonic complex. (Sure is fun saluting a robot, isn’t it?)
1 If you are shopping online, do not buy that sale-priced action Xbox games. If you do, at best, you’ll find out on level three that your cheats no longer work, and you get killed every time. At worst, in the course of playing the game, you suddenly realize that it is for real, and now you are running for your life. (Okay, slight exaggeration. Hey, look out, that guy has an ax.)
Since not much is happening in Lakeway this week, I thought we would just take a bike ride and check up on a few things. I’ve still ordered catering from Dee Dee’s Thai food truck in Austin. Our entertainment is Allman Brothers.
Menu
Pad KaPow – Spicy stir-fried pork sauteed in our homemade chili paste, with fried Thai basil & fried egg. Comes on jasmine rice, a side of chili fish sauce, “pik nam pla,” & sliced cucumber.
Laab Moo – VERY SPICY!! North-eastern style minced pork cooked in our slow roasted herbal chili rice powder, Thai herbs, mint, lime, onion & cilantro. Served with sticky rice & sliced cucumber.
Om Gai (Stew) – Spicy rustic herbal chicken in our homemade chili-paste broth, with dill, lemongrass, spring onion & Thai basil. Served with sticky rice.
Tofu Stir-fry – Tofu, broccoli, zucchini, carrots, cherry tomatoes, and mushrooms. Stir-fried in our homemade chili paste, Northern Thai sauces & spices.
Som Tom (Papaya Salad – Original) – Fresh green papaya salad bashed to order with cherry tomatoes, green beans, Thai chilis & peanuts in our tamarind fish sauce. Served with sticky rice.
Isaan Som Tom (Fermented Pungent Papaya Salad) – VERY SPICY! Pungent, funky papaya salad with our house fermented fish sauce & salted crab shell (“Puu Plaa Raa”) with Thai chilis bashed to order. Served with sticky rice.
Moo Ping – Single order is snack size with two sweet & savory pork skewers, marinated in our special sauce for 48 hours. Served with a small side of sticky rice & tamarind-based dipping sauce. Eat with your hands! To make it meal size, double the order!
Pickled Salad – Light and refreshing vegetable side dish. 8oz container.
Mango & Sticky Rice – Mildly sweet Thai dessert. Sticky rice massaged & soaked in coconut milk overnight w/ sliced ripe mango and a coconut milk drizzle on top.
Thai Iced Tea – Black tea over ice with condensed milk and a splash of half and half.
Plus anything else you want to drink.
So hop on your bike, and let’s go.
A reminder that we live with the deer.
And as luck would have it, we come upon a yard full of deer and a Toyota.
Looks like the monster house is starting to get ready for Halloween already.
Thes bouganvilla look terrific. Had to use the zoom feature to get them, which is a little blurry.
The Texas sage is in bloom from the rain. Here is what a well-trimmed bush looks like.
Here is what a not trimmed bush looks like. Way more blooms.
An older fawn crossing the road.
Two younger fawns out on their own.
A deer and Labor Day decorations.
Vinca flowers everywhere.
Mexican birds of paradise in the foreground and crape myrtle in the background.
I hope you enjoyed the bike ride and will have a super week. Kick off those sports shoes and relax with Thai food and the Allman Brothers. Rambling Man described the post today.
Why does the sun go on shining? Why does the sea rush to shore? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world? Cause you don’t love me anymore. Dusty Springfield’s song End of the World goes through my head as the espresso machine orders a descale before dispensing my life-saving fluid. More time and more waiting lead to a friendly smiley face on the control screen, followed by the unmistakable snorts of the brewing process.
Ten ounces of Columbia’s most well-known liquid safely in the mug allows the contemplation of another Saturday. A move to the back porch promises a relaxing interlude with nature. Unfortunately, such a promise is broken by an annoying whistle that continues to increase in volume. It suddenly dawns on my caffeine-starved awareness center that the increasing volume indicates something falling from the sky. The closer, the louder until the pain of the sound is almost unbearable, and tightly closed eyes have the wish that it will cease.
Like a miracle, suddenly, it stops and is followed by what can only be described as an undulation of the earth and a debris downpour. Yes, as you may have surmised, something big has fallen from the sky and into the backyard. The coffee in my mug has been half emptied by the force of the contact and then magically half filled by small pieces of dirt. Since it is no longer serviceable, I set it down and walk cautiously toward the steaming crater in the turf.
Reaching the edge of the hole, the words Mosler Safe are clearly visible on the front of the steel rectangle. There is a combination lock and handle just waiting for closer inspection. Climbing into the crater, I touch the combination dial, which is still warm. I always crack safes by inputting the date of Christmas, so I turn the dial to the right to twelve, then back left past twelve to two, and then to five. There is a loud click, and sure enough, the handle allows me to open the door.
“Dagnabit cose that door. You’ll make me catch my death of cold.” The voice is one I recognize, and of course, it is someone who looks like Yosemite Sam, but for some reason, he is in his underwear. I hope I don’t startle him, so I say quietly, “Can I help you?”
“Help me? You dadburn tenderfoot. I’m here to help you. Here take this letter and shut the dadgum door.” I do as he says and walk back to the porch. I open the envelope, and sure enough, it is from Linda Hill. Before wondering how the heck Yosemite Sam got into a Mosler Safe in his underwear, I tear open the letter. It says Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “start with why.” Begin your post with the word “why.” Have fun!
Today’s good news comes to us from the Daily Paws. Here is the story unedited.
Elderly, Blind Golden Retriever Returns Home After 3 Weeks Missing in Alaska Wilderness
The Alaskan bush is tough terrain for almost anyone, let alone an elderly, blind, golden retriever.
By Jennifer Huizen August 30, 2022
CREDIT: CHENDONGSHAN / GETTY
If you’re a fan of Naked and Afraid, you know how hard it is to survive in the Alaskan wilderness. But let us introduce you to an older, blind golden retriever who held her own in the wild for three weeks alone.
On June 18, the Kubacki family’s beloved fur-baby, Lulu, went missing. “She means everything,” her dad Ted Kubacki told theAssociated Press. “I have five daughters, and they’re 4 to 13 years old, so they’ve spent every day of their life with that dog.”
The entirety of the Kubacki family searched for Lulu for weeks, but to not avail. Cruelly, someone even texted the family, telling them they’d found Lulu—only to then follow up with a “just kidding.”
But on July 5, a construction crew spotted the golden retriever, who they initially mistook for a bear, in a salmonberry bush lining the road they were working on. Lulu was about 15 feet down an embankment off the side of the road, not too far from the Kubacki’s home. Upon closer inspection, the construction workers realized they had found a dog who needed care.
Ted Kubacki told the AP that when he got word Lulu had been discovered, “I called my wife from work and it was just screaming. … She just starts yelling, then she yells to the kids. And I just hear them screaming like crazy.”
Lulu and her family
But Lulu was in very bad shape after her mistaken romp into the woods. According to the AP, Lulu, normally an 80-pound dog, had dropped 23 pounds and was severely dehydrated, dirty, and had matted fur.
“I just expected to come back and be like, ‘Hey, here’s my dog.’ She’s going to jump up and wag her tail and kiss my face, and she couldn’t even pick up her head,” Kubacki told the AP. “She’d been through the wringer.”
But after medical attention, R & R, and food, Lulu is on the mend.
“Slowly but surely she started eating and she was kind of able to pick her head up. But then yesterday, she propped herself up on her front paws by herself, like nestled into me and gave me a kiss and wagged her tail and it was just so great,” Kubacki told the AP.
Kubacki told the AP he was worried about covering Lulu’s vet bills, but people from their town of Sitka had donated hundreds to foot the bill.
“We have our family member home,” Kubacki said.
The good news here is Lulu never gave up.
Todays JohnKu talks about giving up. I hope you have a great weekend.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here.
Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries next time.”
Since the American football season is underway, I thought it would be good to pull forward a post that ran on September 25th, 2015. The season starts earlier this year, so hopefully, mistakes can be avoided. I hope you enjoy it.
Top Ten Things Not to do While Watching Football on TV
10 If you are watching football, do not work on your finances. If you do, at best, you might have to redo the numbers every time an announcer mentions a score. At worst, you could have a problem when your bank calls about a deposit slip that reads first and ten. (Sure, you can explain that to the bank teller)
9 If you are watching football, do not try to carry on a conversation. If you do, at best, you will not fool anyone when you answer the wrong question with the wrong answer. At worst, you could be vulnerable to saying yes to one of those tricky issues relating to vacation destinations or furniture style. (Hope you enjoy the 24-hour hot yoga class while on vaycay)
8 If you are watching football, do not try to write a post for Monday. If you do, at best, you may miss a mistook or two. At worst, the logic and care you put into your writing may be lost as you get muddled in your thought process and try desperately to make a comeback but find yourself fighting out of an awkward place and running eighty yards for a touchdown. (This shows you can obviously watch and write at the same time)
7 If you are watching football, do not try to figure out how to install that iPhone app. If you do, at best, you’ll never get your Apple password correct. At worst, you will fail to notice the $99.00 cost of the “Write like Steven King” app you just installed. (You can bet it works too)
6 If you are watching football, do not try to help the kids with their homework. If you do, at best, you will demonstrate why they should never ask again. At worst, your help is the impetus for the remedial intervention program in which they become enrolled at the school. (Well, you did try hard, didn’t you?)
5 If you are watching football, do not try to cook an elaborate meal. If you do, at best, the ingredients you forgot won’t be missed. At worst, you will have made a concoction that the government will want to use to undermine the morale of enemy troops. (You thought it was going to be perfect. Right?)
4 If you are watching football, do not try to talk on the phone to your boss. If you do, at best, your lack of attention will not be held against you. At worst, your boss will think you have some cognitive problem and assume you are drinking. (Too bad your boss has been to rehab cause now you are going)
3 If you are watching football, do not answer the door and have visitors drop in. If you do, at best, you will ignore them. At worst, you will offend the folks who stopped by not paying attention to them, and they happen to be the people in charge of the pre-school home visit staff. (This was the premier pre-school in your state)
2 If you are watching football, do not assume everyone in your household shares your passion. If you do, at best, you will wonder why you are watching the game alone. At worst, you might even find you are home alone, and there is no note telling where everyone has gone. (Hard to believe not everyone wants to watch twelve hours of Football on the weekend, hey, Bucky)
1 If you are watching football, do not commit to watching the kids. If you do, at best, they will not wander out of the house. At worst, you will be investigated by CPS for keeping the kids tied to the couch for a full four quarters. (You might have gotten away with just a half)
Yes, today we are going to the Lakeway Activity Center, where an art show is in progress. These are local artists and in addition to the show at the Activity Center, several artists have opened their studios for visits. We won’t be going to those since I don’t think the artists will be prepared for a visit from our group. We are being catered by Patrizi’s Food truck in Austin. Our entertainment is ZZ Top.
Pomodoro – traditional Italian red sauce made from local tomatoes, garlic confit, and butter served with house farm cheese and a tuft of basil.
Patrizi’s Red Sauce – family recipe tomato sauce stewed with onions, garlic, garden herbs, pork trimmings, and grana Padano cheese
Cacio e Pepe – grana Padano cheese, fresh cracked black pepper, and olive oil
The Great Leopold – basil and arugula pesto served with grana Padano cheese, pepitas, crushed red chilis, and lemon zest.
Carbonara Alexandra – house-cured and smoked pancetta, coddled egg yolks, grana Padano cheese, and gremolata
Karah’s Diavolo – lemon, olive oil, rosemary, egg yolks, red chili, grana Padano chees
Lemon Thyme – lemon, thyme, garlic, egg yolk, grana
Butter Noodles – fettuccine with garlic butter and grana Padano cheese
Garlic Bread – grilled ciabatta, poached garlic, and grana cheese
Patrizi’s House Salad – mixed greens with family recipe creamy Italian dressing, giardiniera, pickled onions, and grana Padano
Rainbow Salad -dinner salad with mixed greens, basil, giardiniera, pickled onions, garlic confit, roasted beets, tomatoes, pepitas, and a vegan creamy lemon vinaigrette dressing
Anything you want to drink
So let’s go.
Here’s a view of some pottery and a succulent display.
This table gives information and ocations of the Artist Studio tour.
A long view of some art.
The Activity Center has many things going on, including dance bands and concerts. Here is a display showing some of them.
Some interesting photos.
A nod to the Avant-Garde.
A portrait selection.
Impressionistic work.
Mostly pastels.
Photographic art.
A little of everything.
Farm scenes.
Pottery and stuff.
A revisit to the succulent table to check out the humorous labels.
Of course, there are food trucks to satisfy the need for a snack while browsing the art.
That’s it. I hope you have a great week. Relax, have some food and enjoy ZZ Top
