Tag: His Revenge

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #69 by Keith Channing

~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

Regular visitors know I like prompts and Keith Channing does one each week in which I am addicted to participating. Keith explains, “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t seem to be working, and I haven’t yet figured out why.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or website, next Monday.”

Here is the photo

Kreative Kue #69

Here is my interpretation.

Get Away by John W. Howell.

“Man, I can’t believe we did it.”

“Shush. We are still not in the clear.”

“Yeah I know. This sack is getting heavy, though.”

“It won’t be too much further until we make our hotel.”

“I can’t seem to stop smiling.”

“I know, and you’re going to give us away.”

“Okay. I’ll be serious. Hurrump.”

“Ha ha ha. Hurrump indeed.”

“I know right? How do I stop from laughing?”

“Think of getting caught. That should sober you up.”

“That’s a horrible thought alright. Okay, I’m good now. How much further?”

“The hotel is around the next corner. Once in our room, we can do all the laughing we want. Did you see the look on that clerks face when she read my note?”

“Oh man. Don’t remind me. I thought her eyes were going to bug right out of her head. The way you had your hand in your coat pocket, I’m sure she thought you had a gun.”

“I did that on purpose. I didn’t want any mess ups.”

“I never did see the note. What did it say?”

“Aw, you really don’t know?”

“No. I was in the restroom when you wrote it on that napkin remember?”

“Oh yeah. I just wrote put eight pair size six British shoes in the bag and take my American Express and no one gets hurt.”

“Why are these people so picky about American Express?”

“Don’t know. Maybe it’s the service fee. But anyway she got the word and here we are with the shoes.”

“And almost to the hotel.”

 

The Playground By C. S. Boyack – Cover Reveal and Pre-Order #RRBC

~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

As a Beta reader for this book. I can tell you it is a very enjoyable read. Craig Boyack is an excellent storyteller with a terrific imagination. Check out this cover.

 

Here is the blurb.

The hottest toys of the Christmas Season are the Playground Network dolls. They contain a worldwide social network for children. Except, the network is controlled by a ruthless businessman with dreams of power.

 To reach his goals he turns to the occult. Will our children make up his personal army? Could we have an enemy soldier in every home?

 Gina Greybill is a cancer survivor who stumbles into her own brush with the paranormal. She wants nothing to do with it, but may be the only one who can bring down the Playground Network. To do it she’ll have to embrace her new situation, and recover the next generation of Playground software.

 There is competition for the software in the form of a brutal thug named Clovis. He’s bigger, more ruthless, and more experienced. To top it all off, he has a head start.

 The Playground is suitable for more mature readers, due to violence and mature themes. You can preorder here http://a-fwd.com/asin=B01D6EF6RI and your kindle copy will be delivered on April 4th.

I was born in a town called Elko, Nevada. I like to tell everyone I was born in a small town in the 1940s. I’m not quite that old, but Elko has always been a little behind the times. This gives me a unique perspective of earlier times, and other ways of getting by. Some of this bleeds through into my fiction.

 I moved to Idaho right after the turn of the century, and never looked back. My writing career was born here, with access to other writers and critique groups I jumped in with both feet.

 I like to write about things that have something unusual. My works are in the realm of science fiction, paranormal, and fantasy. The goal is to entertain you for a few hours. I hope you enjoy the ride

 Follow my blog: http://coldhandboyack.wordpress.com

Check out my novels here: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00ILXBXUY

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Virgilante

On Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/9841203.C_S_Boyack

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/ColdhandBoyack

 

Top Ten Things Not to do in a Museum

~ John W. Howell ~ 70 Comments

If you are like me, you don’t often go to the museum but when visiting you like to have as little to do with other people as possible. The inspiration for this list is the sometimes annoying behavior of other visitors on these rare visit occasions. I live on an island and have visited the local museum many times, so my other visits to museums involve travel and time. The trouble to get to a museum is why I’m especially annoyed when others seem to believe space is theirs to do as they please.

 

Top Ten Things Not to Do in a Museum

10 If you are visiting a museum in the kids section, do not hog the action and allow your children an opportunity to play with the interactive displays too. If you do, at best you will upset your kids. At worst, you will give new meaning to the term bully. (Sure the electricity display is fun but come on Rufus, give the kids a break)

9 If you are visiting a museum, do not continue walking around in your squeaky shoes. If you do, at best you will annoy everyone you pass. At worst, your squeaks will spark an instinctive urge to kill in Brutus the WWF ex-world champ who just got released from a treatment facility. (Yes, his eyes are glowing red, and he’s coming your way)

8 If you are in an Art museum, do not vocalize your profound understanding of the artist’s motivation in any work loudly and especially the piece titled “My Poop.” If you do, at best those around you will have validation you don’t know anything about art. At worst, you may have to put up for the rest of your stay with a similarly minded art aficionado who hasn’t had a bath in months. (Is this person suggesting you go to dinner?)

7 If you are in a museum, so not touch a painting. If you do, at best a kindly octogenarian guard will ask you to step away. At worst, you will have to be quick to avoid the falling gate and the tear gas before you are tackled by a SWAT Team member. (Now you know the sign “Do Not Touch The Art,” is not kidding. Don’t worry you’ll make bail.)

6 If you are in a museum, do not take pictures. If you do, at best you will be asked to stop. At worst, your camera will be confiscated, and you will be charged a royalty for each picture taken. (Of course, you could always let them keep your camera or phone)

5 If you are in a museum, do not talk back in a loud voice to the recorded tour that you hear in your headphones. If you do, at best all you’ll get are strange looks. At worst, some well-meaning person will place a call to EMS since they are convinced you are in an overdose situation. (The tip-off for them was when you were arguing with the recording about the meaning of a black hole.)

4 If you are in a museum, do not try to help the staff by removing a dinosaur tibia bone because you thought it was going to fall. If you do, at best the bone was going to fall. At worst, the bone was the cornerstone of the entire dinosaur skeleton and although it looked like it would fall was positioned that way because it supported the whole ten thousand bone construction.(It only took museum employees four years to construct what took four seconds for you to make a pile. Sneaking out before discovery might be a life-saving measure)

3 If you visit a primarily adult display museum, do not take kids under three years old. If you do, at best you will be worn out trying to keep them quiet. At worst, the rest of the people in the museum will be spent wishing you could keep them quiet. (Better a trip to the park next time)

2 If you visit an art museum, do not discuss out loud your art at home as it compares to the masters. If you do, at best others will think you a braggart. At worst, you might be overheard by an enterprising but out of work youth who will surprise you in the middle of the night while helping himself to your paintings. (Now don’t you feel foolish discussing those Wal-Mart knock-offs?)

1 If you visit an art museum, do not make comments about the nude statues in your outside voice. If you do, at best it is possible that some may be offended by your observations. At worst, you may be unknowingly violating some local indecency ordinance, especially when referring to particular body parts. (Most everyone will admit after you were taken away the way you wove David into your locker room joke was pretty funny)

Sunday – Fifty -Two Views of the Gulf

~ John W. Howell ~ 40 Comments

 

 

 

The last day of the Texas school’s spring break. (Whew) As was fitting, the week of mayhem ended with winds of seventy miles an hour and torrential rain. The photo of the beach shows calm but overcast which is how it appeared after the storm. I took a walk Saturday morning, and there were some tents and campers severely damaged. (By the way, the weather folks gave us all plenty of warning) All campers should have left the beach, so it is hard to feel sorry for them. I lost a strip of siding in the wind. How that happened, I have no idea. It must have been loose but if I could have prevented it I did have enough warning just not the knowledge.

This Feature is titled Fifty-Two Views of the Gulf and was intended to run for a year, The year will be up on Sunday, April 3rd. I plan to create a montage that will be a permanent piece on the sidebar. ( I hope) Next week I’m going to run a poll to see if you would like the feature to continue under the title One View of the Gulf Fifty-Two Times. I hope you will vote your preference. There will be a number of choices. Thanks, all.

Last week’s photo.

 

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Egg”

~ John W. Howell ~ 49 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again. The prompt for this week is egg. Linda Hill advises that we can use the word as a noun, verb, or adjective. (I’ll bet you are wondering how the word egg can be used as a verb aren’t you?) If you would like to join the rest of we loonies, please go to Linda’s site and you’ll get all the information you need. http://lindaghill.com/2016/03/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-march-1916/  Here is my interpretation.

Egg by John W. Howell © 2016

“Tell me again. How do you use the word egg as a verb.”

“Very carefully.”

“Funny. Now come on tell me.”

“Well, the word egg is an interesting one.”

“Oh, here comes a lecture I can tell.”

“No there will not be a lecture. I just think for three letters the word egg is pretty powerful.”

“Please spare me and those reading the analysis. No one wants some obscure facts about the word. All we want to know is how egg can be a verb?”

“First, think of egg as a noun.”

“You’re ignoring what I say right?”

“An example. This Easter egg is blue.”

“Yes, you’re ignoring me.”

“How about as an adjective. The egg dish.”

“Please stop. I think I’m the only one here now. Before I leave, tell me how egg becomes a verb.”

“Well, if you insist. Think of a couple of kids planning some mischief. One says to the other, ‘Let’s egg Mr. Thompsons house.”‘

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Why do I end up being the straight person for your lame stand-up routines.?”

“Just a good egg I’d say. Oh, that’s a noun.”

“What would you call a goose egg?”

“Still a noun.”

“How about on your head?”

“Painful.”

“Right.”

Stream Of Consciousness Saturday

 

Friday John Ku – AKA – TGIF

~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

 

 

Friday came pretty quick this week. Not sure why, but I’ll just take it as a good thing. Of course, at my age to see the days fly by tends to make one wonder. Is there a way to slow them down? Maybe the idea of days rushing by is a matter of perception since as we get older, we know that there will be fewer and fewer days, so each becomes pretty precious. We then take more time being amazed by how fast they fly. Meh, enough of this. Today’s John Ku talks about the footrace as a metaphor for life. I hope you enjoy it.

Footrace  as Life By John W. Howell © 2016

We start out slowly,

As if climbing an incline. . .

The downhill goes fast.

Thursday – A little personal Interview with John Cannon and Lisa Burton #RRBC

~ John W. Howell ~ 10 Comments

 

 

Today I am so pleased to have John J. Cannon interviewed on the radio by none other than  the fabulous robot assistant of Craig Boyack. As you have probably heard, Lisa Burton is doing  interviews with characters from Indie author books. John was so pleased to be asked to join Lisa as a guest that he took some time out from trying to subdue his nemesis, Matt Jacobs to do a phone interview with Lisa. Please go to Craig’s place and check out the interview. Here is the link https://coldhandboyack.wordpress.com/2016/03/17/lisa-burton-radio-with-john-cannon/

While you are there, check out some of Craig’s books. This man can write, and his stories are most enjoyable. You can find them all on the sidebar. Also, you might take a look at past Lisa Burton interviews under the Lisa Burton Radio tab.

Let me know how you liked it and let Craig and Lisa know as well. Thanks. Also, Happy St. Patrick’s day

Wednesday Story Time – AKA Hump Day

~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

 

 

Wednesday Story Day time again. Last week we witnessed poor Ben trying to get the attention of the hospital staff to the fact that Mrs. Worthe is behind plans to blow up the Student Union. We left Ben stopped to a gurney heading back to the examination room. None of his pleas were taken seriously. Let’s go back and see how he is doing.

“Hello, Ben. The orderlies tell me you are a little upset.”
“Get away from me Mrs. Worthe. I know you have everyone on the payroll here so at least, be decent enough just to leave me.”
“Ben, Ben, Ben. You poor upset soul. I wouldn’t leave you in your time of crisis. I’m here to help you.”
“Crisis you say? The only crisis around here is being anywhere near you.”
“Ben, you are starting to hurt my feelings. Here let me get the hair out of your eyes. Why Ben you are burning up.”
“Don’t touch me you bitch.”
“Now Ben. You need to play nice if you want to get out of this hospital in one piece.”
“What does that mean?”
“Take it any way you want, but I’m trying to save you, and you keep spitting in my tea so to speak.”
“If I could move I would do more that spit.”
“Big talk from a little man. Hold still Ben. I’m going to give you a little shot.”
“A shot? No, don’t do it Mrs. Worthe. I’m sorry. Okay, okay, okay. You win. I’ll be quiet.”
“It is just a calmative Ben. Of course sometimes when we don’t have an accurate idea of the patient’s weight we could give a little too much.”
“I said I’ll be quiet. I’ll do whatever you want.”
“And then the patient may or may not come out of the coma.”
“Mrs. Worthe. Are you hearing me? I’ll shut up.”
“Of course, when the patient does wake up if ever they usually have severe disabilities requiring constant care by their loving family. You don’t have family do you Ben?”
“Mrs. Worthe please put that syringe away. I’ll play ball.”
“You know I was a full-time nurse. Maybe I could take care of you, Ben.”
“Please, Mrs. Worthe. Listen to me.”
“What’s that? Ben?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Creative Kue #68

~ John W. Howell ~ 43 Comments

As most of you know, I enjoy prompts from Keith Channing. Here is what he says, “Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; and either put it (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithkreates@channing.fr before 6pm on Sunday (if you aren’t sure what the time is where I live, this link will tell you). If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here – pingbacks don’t seem to be working, and I haven’t yet figured out why.

Go on. You know you want to. Let your creativity and imagination soar. I shall display the entries, with links to your own blog or web site, next Monday.”

Here is the photo.

 

My interpretation. by John W. Howell © 2016

What’s That? By John W. Howell © 2016

“Oh, my gosh Helen.”

“What Seal?”

“did you see those things that those performers threw up in the air?”

“No what are they?”

“I’m not sure, but one is crawling around in my hair.”

“EW. Get it out.”

“I can’t. The bugger runs to the other side of my head.”

“Hey you performers.”

“Yes, Ma’am. What is it?”

“What did you just throw into the air?”

“You mean the confetti?”

“No not confetti. There are some things moving in my girlfriend’s hair.’

“Let me see. Oh, those. Don’t worry. Besides, we didn’t throw them.”

“What do you mean ‘don’t worry?’ They are moving for heaven’s sake. What are they?”

“We call them Nee Nahs.”

“Nee Nahs? Do they have another name.”

“Hmm. Let me see. I think they are called crab lice in your country.”

 

 

 

Top Ten Things Not to do on Spring Break

~ John W. Howell ~ 33 Comments

spring-break-3

 

This list is inspired by watching almost every weird occurrence that can transpire in a two-week spring break period.  I did a previous post on the subject but decided to take it from the sane adult perspective. After all for every drunken idiot spring breaker antic, there is an equally sober witness to that action. (It’s called the law of disgust) This list is for those innocent souls who happen to be living in a place that is a destination for spring breakers.

Ten Things Not to Do During Spring Break

10 If you live in a spring break area, do not react to a group of spring breakers in a pick-up who ask you to pull up your shirt. If you do, at best you might get a string of beads. At worst, you may cause the group irreparable psychological harm. (They were talking to the young woman behind you. Not you old man.)

9 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to cross the street. If you do, at best you will become a laughable imitation of the game Frogger. At worst, you may end up on the hood of a pick-up and realize the driver is too drunk to see that far. (You won’t mind riding there for the next ten miles right?)

8  If you live in a spring break area, do not think you will be able to drive downtown to the store. If you do, at best what was a five-minute round trip will be a three-hour tour. At worst, you will never get to the store and will, in fact, be carried by the traffic to the next county. (The city tried to warn you about traffic flow)

7 If you live in a spring break area, do not think you can go to the beach. If you do, at best you will not find a place. At worst, you will be caught up in a game of beer pong and never make it home. (So it was the only way you could find a place you say?)

6 If you live in a spring break area, do not take any insults personally. If you do, at best you will be the source of much laughter. At worst, you will need transport to the ER for heart attack symptoms. (Guess which EMS vehicle can’t get through the crowds?)

5 If you live in a spring break area, do not worry about the ten tons of trash laying on the beach. If you do, at best you will want to do something to the next person you see toss a beer can. At worst, the next person you see toss a bear can is nicknamed “killer.” (This will not turn out well will it?)

4 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to help a person who appears lost and disoriented. If you do, at best they will not understand you. At worst, you could be the recipient of a barf shower. (Of course, you wanted to help. You can’t help stupid)

3 If you live in a spring break area, do not try to do anything about all the noise coming from your neighbor’s house. If you do, at best your neighbor will tell you where to go. At worst, the noise will increase since your neighbor is someone who doesn’t like being told what to do.(He is especially stubborn after twelve beers. Just ask his wife.)

2 If you live in a spring break area, do not use any sharp knives or dangerous tools for the duration. If you do, at best you won’t need emergency attention. At worst, you will need to know first aid since it will be about two days until someone can come help you. (The police and medical teams are dealing with big problems like passed out underage drinkers.)

1 If you live in a spring break area, do not leave your doors unlocked. If you do, at best you may wake up with unknown guests on your couch. At worst, all your furniture could be on the front lawn. (Just because a bunch of kids thought it would be funny)