Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 396 by Keith Channing

March 7, 2023March 6, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 72 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s post

https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/03/06/kreative-kue-396/

The photo

“Good morning. My name is Phonics Philla. Who am I talking to?”

“Uh, my name is John.”

“How may I help you, John?”

“I uh received a package that was damaged.”

“I most certainly can help you with that, John. Do you have an order number?”

“I do. It’s 6747726432963528597312H.”

“Could you repeat that, John? My computer is loading a little slowly today.”

“Ready?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“674.”

“Uh-huh. You can give me the rest.”

“7-7-264-329-635-285-973-12H”

“Ah, yes. I see you ordered a greenhouse. You say it was damaged?”

“Yes, the guy just shoved it off the back of the truck.”

“Can you describe the damage?”

“Broken frame and glass.”

“What frame and glass?”

“As far as I can tell, all of them.”

“Hmm. According to the record, you signed for the delivery.”

“Yes, that was before I opened the box.”

“Can you send me a photo of the damage?”

“Can’t you just send me a new one?”

“We have to be sure of the damage, sir.”

“You can’t take my word?”

“Oh, that’s rich, sir. I take your word and send you a new one and then let’s say the old one is still good. So now you have two greenhouses.”

“What on earth would I do with two greenhouses?”

“That’s not for me to say, sir. Can you send a photo?”

“How do you want it?”

“Attach it to an email. Once I get it, I can process your replacement. Oh, wait. That item is out of stock.”

“When will it be back in stock?”

“Hmm. Looks like a twelve-week lead time.”

“I won’t need it in twelve weeks. It will be summer by then. Can I get a refund?”

“I’m sorry, but you bought that item on a close-out special. Unfortunately, there are no refunds.”

“No one told me there were no refunds.”

“You signed the order.”

“I don’t see where it said ‘no refunds.'”

“It’s right on the back. I think you failed to read the terms and conditions.”

“So what can we do?”

“I think you’ll have to wait until the item comes in stock.”

“Do you have a supervisor?”

“I do. Would you like to speak to her?”

“Yes, I would.”

“Please wait while I transfer your call. I’m going to place you on a brief hold.”

“Hello?”

“Yes, hello. Is this the supervisor?”

“No, this is a customer. I want to report a greenhouse damaged in shipment.”

“Wait a minute. I’m on hold with the same problem.”

“Can you issue me a refund?”

“I said I have the same problem.”

“Let me speak to your supervisor.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #394 by Keith Channing

February 21, 2023February 20, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 68 Comments

In Keith’s words.

“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.

Visit Keith at his place if you want to read the stories or participate. Here is the link to his post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/02/20/kreative-kue-394/

The Photo.

“What do you think, Number Two?”

“Looks deserted, Captain.”

“My thought exactly. I’m a little worried about that rock there.”

“How so, Captain?”

“When I was a kid, I saw a scary movie where a giant gorilla lived on such a rock.”

“You think this might be the rock?”

“No, of course not. There is something creepy about it, though. Is this island on our map?”

“No, sir. It is uncharted.”

“Hmmm. Have you ever seen a movie where an uncharted island was not filled with horrors?”

“Not much for movies, sir. If you’re saying this island may be dangerous, I will agree.”

“You will? Why?”

“For one thing, there are no birds flying around. I have never stood off from an island that didn’t have birds.”

“I don’t see any signs of inhabitants either.”

“That may be a good thing, but no birds? Bad JuJu.”

“We should send a landing party to check it out.”

“Suit yourself, Captain, but as for me, I would rather we lift anchor and leave this island in the uncharted category.”

“Tell the boatswain’s mate to assemble a party to reconnoiter the island.”

“Aye, aye, sir.”

“Make sure they are well armed.”

* * *

“Captain. We got a garbled message from the landing party’s radio.”

“It’s been twenty-four hours, Number Two. It’s about time. What’s the message?”

“It was hard to understand, but sparks figured it out.”

“Enough suspense. What did the message say?”

“Send more long pigs.”

“Long pigs? What the hell are long pigs?”

“We think they mean us, Sir.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 393a by Keith Channing

February 14, 2023February 13, 2023 ~ John W. Howell ~ 50 Comments

In Keith’s words.

If you would like to participate go to Keith’s post at this link https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2023/02/13/kreative-kue-393a/

The photo.

“Hey, kids, look what’s on the screen.”

“What is that, daddy?”

“It’s the Taj Mahal. That’s what.”

“Wow, it looks like it’s real.”

“That’s cause it’s 3D.”

“How come we don’t have any glasses. The last time we saw 3D, we had to wear glasses.”

“I think they have made some big improvements. Since then.”

“Oh.”

“So finish your burgers, and we will go to Tomorrow Land.”

“Tomorrow Land? What’s that, dad?”

“Oh, you’ll love it. It is in the future. There are flying cars and everything.”

“Now, George. Let’s let them finish their lunch before they get worked up.”

“You are so right, dear. But, man, isn’t this trip great?”

“It is, sweetheart. Of a lifetime.”

“I wish we could stay forever.”

“Well, we have another two days.”

“That’s true. It will be fun, and then we have to head home.”

“This is the best Valentine’s Day ever.”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Just one thing.”

“What’s that, dearest?”

“I don’t remember locking the front door.”

The last Drive Tour with Keith Channing

January 25, 2023January 25, 2023 ~ John W. Howell

I am delighted to be visiting Keith Channing’s blog today. He is helping spread the word about The Last Drive. You can visit the post HERE.

Each Monday, Keith publishes a photo and asks for submissions. I have been submitting a story using his photo as a prompt since August 6th, 2015. Prior to my joining in Keith had published 39 photos. He just finished number 392. So I have participated with Keith in 353 stories over the last seven years. Keith has also published 13 books. You can see them all on his Amazon page.

More about Keith in his own words.

“My work background was in insurance and IT. When I retired in 2005 at the tender age of 56, my wife Clare and I sold up and moved to a small hamlet in the middle of France, where we stayed for thirteen years. In 2019, we relocated to South Yorkshire with our two dogs.

During my working life, I spent five years living in Dubai and two years in Tanzania, which had an enormous effect on shaping my world view and my way of looking at life.

As a writer of fiction, I make up and write lies (and some poetry – mostly limericks) for the sheer pleasure of doing it. These lies generally end up on my blog at keithkreates.com, as do a few of the photographs I take from time to time.”

Thank you, Keith, for helping to spread the word on The Last Drive.

I have closed the comments so that every word in Keith’s comment section is original.

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #392 by Keith Channing

December 27, 2022December 26, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 44 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/26/kreative-kue-392/

The photo.

“I say, Reggie. Any sightings?”

“Fraid not Oliver. Nothing all day.”

“A shame, mate.”

“Well, there is a positive side.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“The hawk we don’t see today is the surprise for tomorrow.”

“You make that up?”

“Sorta.”

“Well, it’s crap.”

“Oh my. Why’s that?”

“In my mind, the hawk we don’t see today is one less hawk. Period.”

“You know, that’s a very pessimistic way to look at it.”

“I prefer the word realistic.”

“Hold on.”

“What?”

“I see a red tail banking over the lagoon.”

“What a sight that must be.”

“You can say that again.”

“What a sight—”

“Very funny. He’s headed right at me.”

“Does he see you?”

“It almost looks like he does. He has something in his beak.”

“Something like what?”

“Rolled up paper. Whoa, he just swooped over and dropped the paper.”

“Go get it.”

“On my way.”

“You back yet? Hello, Reggie. You back? Reggie?”

“Yeah I’m back. Give me a second to unroll the paper. Okay, it’s a message.”

“What does it say?”

“Attention hawk watchers. We are no longer going to be the subject of observation. We are tired of the prying eyes constantly intruding on our daily lives. The hawks of the world are united, and nothing you can offer will bring us out of seclusion.”

“Boy, that is pretty harsh. You think they mean it?”

“Sounds like they do.”

“Can you communicate with them?”

“I have in the past. One on one only, though.”

“Well try again. Tell them we are prepared to offer substantial sums for visual sightings.”

“They probibly will reject money.”

“Offer corn or dead mice. I don’t care. We need to see them again.”

“Hold on. I have the hawk leader on the other line.”

“Okay I’ll stand bye.”

“Hey Oliver.”

“Yes Reggie.”

“The hawk leader says he’ll take a year’s supply of corn and mice.”

“Where we going to get a year’s supply?”

“Maybe he’ll accept installments.”

“You know how we are going to catch the mice?”

“Yeah. The cats will help.”

“Thought they were on strike for a vegan diet demand.”

“Oh dear. Maybe some traps.”

“Remember the cows are on a sabbatical so no cheese.”

“Is it my imagination or have we lost control?”

“Never should have let ’em all enroll in college.”

“We can say that now, but it might be too late.”

“Do we really have to sight hawks?”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

“Tell him to shove it.”

“Good choice of words, sir.”

Tuesday- Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #390 by Keith Channing

December 13, 2022December 12, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 56 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really, even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Keith’s post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/12/kreative-kue-390/

The photo.

“Avignon approach, Cessna N1977.”

“Go ahead, 1977.”

“Currently at 2000 Heading point 027 three miles SSW of the airport. I have the information.”

“Roger 1977. Altimeter 395. Descend and maintain 1000. Overcast conditions. Ceiling 500 feet. Visibility 3/10ths. Wind calm.”

“What does all that mean?”

“Say again 1977.”

“I just want to land. What was all that other stuff?”

“I gave you the height of the runway and the fact that it’s overcast and not very good conditions. Oh yes, and I told you to descend to 1000 feet.”

“I got the 1000 feet, but why not just say it’s lousy there.”

“You need the information so that you can make a safe landing. I will also tell you when you are cleared to land.”

“Oh, come on. This puppy is going to land whether you like it or not.”

“Excuse me. How long have you been flying?”

“I left Paris two hours ago.”

“No, I mean, how long have you had a license.”

“License? I didn’t realize you needed a license.”

“Oh my. I think we have a problem.”

“No, we don’t. I’m descending to 500 feet and have the airport in sight.”

“You hold it right there, 1977. You are not going to splatter that plane on the runway on my watch.”

“Don’t you think it would be better to land on your precious runway than to run out of fuel and splatter into the countryside?”

“Let me ask. How much fuel and how many souls are on board?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I need to know how many fire engines to have waiting. The more the fuel, the bigger the fire.”

“And the souls?”

“We need to account for everyone after the fact.”

“Okay. I have about four gallons, and I’m the only one here. I’m still on a vector for the airport. I see runway 22 ahead. Seems clear.”

“Fine, you are cleared to land on runway 22. What is your name.”

“Why?”

“I want to make sure the arrest documents are correct.”

“Al Smith.”

“Very funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“What’s your real name.”

“I just gave it to you. Also, you can relax. I am on the ground.

“Contact the tower at 199.6. Have a nice day.”

“Tower Cessna N1977 with you.”

“Roger 1977, proceed to the intersection 19L and hold for further instructions.”

“What are all those red and blue lights?”

“Nothing at all, sir. Just hold at 19L.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #389 by Keith Channing

December 6, 2022December 5, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 64 Comments

Link to Keith’s post. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/12/05/kreative-kue-389/

The Photo.

“Okay, Trevor. This is a new one. Why are you in the clothes dryer?”

“Well, Eos, if it is any of your business, I’m hiding out.”

“Hiding out from what? Or should I say who?”

“Yeah, it’s a who and a what.”

“Care to explain?”

“The who is mama.”

“Okay, so why do you have to hide from mama?”

“Aren’t you curious about the what?”

“I suppose.”

“The what is the reason for hiding from the who.”

“Enough of the riddles. Tell me what has you in hiding.”

“Bath.”

“Bath?”

“Mama wants to give me a bath.”

“Oh my goodness. This is serious. When was the last time?”

“It took me all this time to forget it, so don’t make me go back to remember.”

“Fine. Forget I asked.”

“Easy to say.”

“For heaven’s sake. You know hiding in the dryer is a short-term proposition, don’t you?”

“I only need one break.”

“Well being here when mama comes to stuff these clothes into the dryer isn’t the answer.”

“I know.”

“So why are you still here?”

“I think I hear mama coming.”

“You didn’t answer me.”

“Oh Eos there you are. Time for your bath.”

“Any more questions?”

“Just one. How do you sleep at night?”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue # 388 by Keith Channing

November 29, 2022November 28, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 79 Comments

Link to Keith’s site. https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/28/kreative-kue-388/

The photo.

“Red sky in the morning.”

“Huh?”

“An old sailor’s warning.”

What’s it warn?”

“Bad weather.”

“In this case, that is certainly true.”

“How do you know?”

“I can feel it in my bones.”

“Oh, come on. You are not that old.”

“Just the same; I don’t think we should be flying today.”

“You mean you want to cancel the trip.”

“Maybe just put it off til tomorrow.”

“What’s come over you? You never let the weather stop you before.”

“Just a funny feeling, is all.”

“Well, why don’t we just fly around it?”

“See the size of that front. We’ll never get around it.”

“Okay, how about above it?”

“I’m sure there are cumulous up to 60,000 feet. Our ceiling is 6,000.”

“Okay then. We stay. I just hope we aren’t caught in any snow. My mind is on those palm trees and sunshine.”

“We’ve been caught before.”

“That’s what worries me. You sure you can’t navigate around that storm.”

“Look. I’m a goose, not an airline pilot. I don’t have all-weather radar.”

“Okay, okay. Just asking. We’ll just stay here till it clears.”

“Here, take some corn. It’ll make you feel better.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #387 by Keith Channing

November 22, 2022November 21, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 62 Comments

In Keith’s words. “Using this photo (below)as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”

Here is a link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/21/kreative-kue-387/

The Photo.

“So you are the head tortoise.”

“Yup.”

“I wonder. Do you have a name?”

“I do.”

“Uh, could you share it?”

“Tom.”

“Tom the tortoise?”

“Just Tom.”

“What makes you the head tortoise?”

“Oldest.”

“How old are you?”

“Not sure.”

“How do you know you are the oldest?”

“Been told.”

“By whom?”

“The second oldest.”

“I guess I could ask how the second oldest knew he was the second oldest, but I imagine the answer would be, He was told by the third oldest.”

“Yup.”

“I’m doing this interview for the show 60 Minutes. Ever hear of it?”

“Nope.”

“Our viewers are interested in information about things. For example, we heard you tortoises live a long time.”

“Yup.”

“Erm. Do you have any secrets?”

“Who doesn’t?”

“To a long life, I mean.”

“Stay away from drugs, tobacco, and alcohol.”

“You gotta be kidding. Where would a tortoise get drugs, tobacco, and alcohol?”

“Can’t.”

“So your advice is hollow.”

“Yet I’m the oldest of the old.”

“I suppose you have a point.”

“Damn right.”

“What’s that in your mouth?”

“Grass.”

“Ah ha.”

“For heaven’s sake.”

“You said no drugs.”

“Tallgrass. No news here. Sorry, Leslie.”

Tuesday – Anything Possible – Kreative Kue #386 by Keith Channing

November 15, 2022November 14, 2022 ~ John W. Howell ~ 76 Comments

In Keith’s words.

Here is a link to Keith’s post https://keithchanning.wordpress.com/2022/11/14/kreative-kue-386/

The photo.

“Hi, and welcome to the firm. My name is Lew, and I’m the HR director.”

“Very pleased to meet you, Mr. Lew. I’m John Wayfair.”

“Yes, John. I have your application in front of me. By the way, Lew is my first name.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Can I call you Lew?”

“Of course. Now let’s get down to business. You applied for a position in the marketing department.”

“Yes, yes, I have.”

“I see here you have published several books.”

“Yes, I’m an author, and a big part of the job is doing marketing.”

“I see. So you think these skills will traslate to our business?”

“I’m sure of it. ‘Marketing be marketing’ as we say.”

“Yes, quite. Tell me about the first person you killed?”

“Oh, you mean in my book.”

“Yes, in your book.”

“Well, not much to tell. The character was a lowlife, and the hero took him out.”

“Just like that?”

“Yup, just like that.”

“How about the first rape?”

“This is a little uncomfortable for me.”

“I’m sure it is. Do tell.”

“A real bad guy did that.”

“But you wrote it, right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then there was that adulterous affair between your characters.”

“Well, not to brag, but there were several.”

“I noticed you use a lot of profanity in your stories.”

“I just construct realistic dialogue.”

“You also seem to call on God to damn people a lot.”

“Pretty tough characters.”

“Heavy drinking and drug use.”

“Where is this all going, Lew?”

“An excellent question, John. I don’t think the marketing department is right for you. I think you will do better in a starting position.”

“What if I don’t agree?”

“You have no choice. With your background in sin, I think you should start in the furnace department. It’s the hottest place we have. And you will no longer call me Lew. Instead, you will address me as Lucifer. You are dismissed. Miss Harpy, send in the next candidate.”

“But it is all fiction.”

“So you say, John. Now get out.”