“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
“Whatya mean stupid van? We had a lot of fun with it.”
“I have to admit we took it to a lot of places when we were young.”
“We could see things we never would have been able then. Good times”
“Yeah, okay. I also remember some of the not-so-good times. Like the day you pulled up in it to take me out.”
“Your dad sure had a lot to say, didn’t he.”
“You blame him? Some hot blood pulls up in a bedroom on wheels. I remember that silly grin on your face too.”
“I didn’t own it. Then I had just borrowed it .”
“And I remember watching television that night with my dad watching you.”
“We can laugh about that now.”
“I suppose we can. At least we don’t have to travel like that anymore.”
“I have a surprise for you.”
“The tone in your voice is the same as when you pulled up the first time so long ago. I can never forget that tone. So tell me, my worst fear is not coming true.”
“What is that?”
“That somehow you found a van like the old one sitting on the driveway.”
“Nah. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Thank heavens. So what’s the surprise?”
“Two first-class tickets to Paris. We’re going top drawer.”
“I can’t believe it. Sounds great.”
“And we can check out a new van while we are there.”
“Don’t tell me.”
“Just messin’ with you. Nope, five-star hotels and a leisurely six weeks to see the country. We even have a driver.”
This post was published originally on November 9th, 2015. Although the wind has not been bad this fall, it just might turn and come in handy.
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The inspiration for this list is the over twenty-five-mile-an-hour winds we have been experiencing since Thursday. Most of these warnings are a matter of common sense, but in the spirit of public service, I will state the obvious. Hope you enjoy it.
The Top Things Not to do on a Windy Day
10 On a windy day, do not think it is a good time to inspect your roof for leaks. If you do, at best, the fire department rescue team will not be happy getting you down from there. At worst, you now need the rescue team to splint and bandage the results of a three-story fall. (Recall your last words? “Honest honey, I’ll be careful.”)
9 On a windy day, do not spit, period. If you do, at best, you might catch a gust in the opposite direction. At worst, you will need to pause your busy schedule for a shower. (Too bad you were eating licorice at the time.)
8 On a windy day, do not think you can control the weed and grass killer spray. If you do, at best, you will only take out the edge of the lawn. At worst, in three days, your yard will have all the life of the Sahara Desert. (Did you not see the warning on the label? By the way, the damage is permanent)
7 On a windy day, do not think you can spray paint that swing set. If you do, at best, you will have an ongoing shadow of it on your lawn. At worst, the next-door neighbor just realizes his new yellow convertible has a light overlay of Rustoleum brown. (Is that him at the front door with the police?)
6 On a windy day, do not get up on that twenty-four-foot extension ladder. If you do, at best, you will soon be calling for help as you slowly lose your grip on the uppermost gutter. At worst, you and the ladder will end up in your living room after passing through the house’s largest and most expensive picture window. (Don’t worry,. A tourniquet properly applied will stop that gushing. You don’t know what I’m talking about, you say?)
5 On a windy day, do not be coerced into allowing the kids to fly their kites. If you do, at best, one may be dragged through Mrs. Jones’ rose bushes. At worst, the FAA will be asking tough questions about the airspace violation by your kid and his Sponge Bob Square Pant kite. (You were almost sure that tree would have stopped him)
4 On a windy day, do not think going fishing is an excellent way to spend the time. If you do, at best, you’ll end up cold and wet without any fish. At worst, your rescue will be featured on the six o’clock news with the lead in line,” Foolish tourist risks life by ignoring the small craft warnings.” (We forgot to turn on the radio, did we?)
3 On a windy day, do not think the golf game can go on as usual. If you do, at best, you will break your high score and lost ball record. At worst, the wind direction is such that you teed off, the ball comes back and knocks you off your feet, and you get an expensive airlift to the hospital. (You thought that was going to be one of your longest drives)
2 On a windy day, do not take a leisurely walk on the beach. If you do, at best, you will be covered in sand from head to foot. At worst, you will receive dermabrasion with the delightful side benefit of a bird-dropping mask. ( No. That stuff does not wash off.)
1 On a windy day, do not think it is a good time to fertilize the lawn. If you do, at best, you will waste a lot of fertilizer on your neighbor’s property and shrubs. At worst, you will end up in the pulmonology wing of the hospital as a subject of study of the after-effects of poop in the lungs. (I could have worn a mask but nooo too much trouble.)
Today we’re going to the Lakeway City Wide garage sale at the Activity Center. We are being catered by Gourdough’s of Austin. Our entertainment is Green Day.
Menu
SOUTHERN SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE
THE TOWANDA – HOUSE-BATTERED FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, POACHED EGG, AND HORSERADISH HOLLANDAISE
THE FRENCH-EE – DONUT FRENCH TOAST TOPPED WITH POWDERED SUGAR,
SERVED WITH BACON AND SYRUP, MAKE IT BANANA CARAMEL STYLE OR STRAWBERRY CHEESECAKE STYLE
THE McGOURDOUGH 1 – MAPLE SAUSAGE, SCRAMBLED EGGS, AMERICAN CHEESE SANDWICHED BETWEEN TWO DONUT BUNS, WITH A MAPLE SYRUP POUR OVER
PETUNIA – POTATO PANCAKE, SLOW-ROASTED PULLED PORK, OVER EASY EGG, SMOTHERED IN A WHITE CREAMY GRAVY
DIRTY PLUCKER 1 – CRISPY FRIED FILLETED CHICKEN BREAST SMOTHERED IN HONEY BUTTER AND DRIZZLED WITH MAPLE ICING
EL DIABLO – SMOKED JALAPEÑO SAUSAGE, OVER EASY EGG, PEPPER JACK CHEESE, TOPPED WITH PICKLED JALAPEÑOS AND HORSERADISH HOLLANDAISE
FATBACK – FAT PORK BELLY BACON, POTATO PANCAKE, EGGS THE WAY YOU WANT ‘EM, AND TWO MINI DONUTS SERVED WITH BUTTER OR JAM
FRESH & FANCY – CHOPPED ROMAINE LOADED WITH FRIED CHICKEN BITES, BLUE CHEESE CRUMBLES, CANDIED PECANS, GRANNY SMITH APPLES, STRAWBERRIES, AND RED GRAPES, SERVED WITH FRESHLY MADE POPPYSEED DRESSING
RON BURGUNDY – ANGUS BEEF, APPLEWOOD SMOKED BACON, FRIED EGG, TWO SLICES OF AMERICAN CHEESE, CILANTRO, GUACAMOLE, SLICED TOMATO, AND GARLIC MAYONNAISE
EVERYTHING NICE – SPICED APPLES AND CHEDDAR CHEESE OR CREAM CHEESE AND STRAWBERRIES
CACHE ME OUTSIDE -NUTELLA, BANANAS, PECANS, HONEY, AND WHIPPED CREAM
Lets get on the bus.
Here we are at the Activity Center
This looks like it’s going to be good.
Got your Halloween decorations.
Ganes, clothes, and La Crosse helmets (You do play don’t you?)
Here is a little bit of everything
Ceramics and pottery.
Rings, beads, and things.
This looks interesting. Wooden long horn skull, Skate board and Marty McFly poster.
Either a big joke or we need to call 9-1-1. Lamps, sleds, and Minnie mouse.
Sports anyone? Putters, rackets, and poker chips.
Here you go. A Bavaria Alp dinner service for eight, swan bowl, dog crate and trike.
Some hardware including fire screens, Birdcage, frame, and bench for faries
Unusal lamps made from other things like a french horn
Lamps of the past and future. I love the movie projector lamp.
More lamps. One of a shoe and one a saw.
Well if you are like me I think we have had enough of the garage sale. Relax now and enjoy the music and food.
The last gurgle from the pretentious coffee maker has me near my happy place. The aroma of those Columbian beans freshly ground and tamped into submission, then doused with scalding water, makes me drool. The twin spouts give forth the elixir of life that soon will be crossing my lips. One final drip and a grab of the mug, followed by a big sip of the soothing syrup, will allow the day’s trials to be faced.
Speaking of trials. As the caffeine hits the brain, the realization that the safe problem, followed by the Yosemite Sam problem capped off by the Wile E. Coyote problem, is still unsolved. A look out the back windows verifies that the safe is still there. That means the other issues remain as well. My front security alert tone hits my phone as if to underscore the fact. Lucy and Twiggy live for that sound and are now acting out the part of Igor’s baying hounds. A quick handout saves the walls around the front door from total annihilation.
After using the speaker to determine Wile is out there, the security disengage routine is complete the front door slams open. My “What.” caused Wile to jump. “I thought we would go over the demolition plan.” Scratching my head and then giving the go-ahead, Wile proceed to detail placing some ACME explosives under the safe. This would be followed by attaching an extremely long fuse allowing us both to run down the block. Wile assured me the safe would be lifted out of the yard, and with the assistance of previously installed ACME mini rockets, he could guide it to the waiting bed of a truck.
He produced a contract that, for the most part, absolved him from any liability. With no other viable alternative, my signature hit the line marked ‘sucker.’ It didn’t say sucker, but the translation was complete in my mind as the ink dried. Wile also gave me an envelope and indicated that he needed to get to work. I told him to watch out for Yosemite Sam, and he seemed unconcerned as he headed for the backyard.
I opened the envelope, and sure enough, it was a letter from Linda Hill. There were four sentences in the letter. The first three read Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “happy place.” Write the first thing that comes to mind when you think of “happy place.” Have fun!
The fourth read I can’t believe you signed that contract.
In Indonesia, small-time fishermen are being paid as part-time ocean cleanup crews as the archipelago seeks to tidy their seas and raise awareness among stakeholders at the same time.
The Ministry of Fisheries announced on October 4th that they had stashed around $70,000, or 1 billion rupiahs, to pay fishermen for any plastic trash they recovered from the oceans.
Many countries around the world are setting environmental or climate goals for themselves. One of the largest contributors of ocean-going plastic waste, Indonesia is looking to shake off that reputation by spending $1 billion over the next 3 years to reduce plastic entering the oceans from their shores by 70%.
If an Indonesian fisherman working off the main islands can collect 4 kilograms of trash per day, the government will pay out around $10 for it, which is slightly more than they would get if they spent their day catching fish to sell at market prices.
“This activity is very simple,” Sakti Wahyu Trenggono, the fisheries minister, said at a press conference in Jakarta. “But at least this will raise awareness among the stakeholders at sea and the people around the world.”
“The most important thing is prevention,” Sakti said. “If we can properly conduct prevention, then there shouldn’t be any waste in the sea. Because once the trash gets to the sea, then it’s already damaged.”
Indonesia is located in one of the fastest-developing regions on the planet, economically speaking, and the use of plastic waste has outpaced the installation of recycling infrastructure, especially on the smaller islands.
According to the UK’s Pew Trust, 95% of all fishing activities are small-scale. Small fisheries can’t absorb costs from things like ocean pollution or additional taxes like large-scale fisheries can, making this bottom-up approach to ocean cleanup uniquely suited to Indonesia.
Furthermore, Indonesia is surrounded by some of the most biodiverse shallow seas on earth, a Mecca for divers and snorkelers who aren’t interested in wading through plastic while they do it.
The good news here is a major plastic pollution contributor is taking steps to reverse the behavior. Today’s JohnKu talks about stepping up to the plate. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.
“Using this photo (below) as inspiration, write a short story, flash fiction, scene, poem; anything, really; even just a caption for the photograph. Either put your offering (or a link to it) in a comment or email it to me at keithchanning@gmail.com before Sunday evening UK time. If you post it on your own blog or site, a link to this page would be appreciated, but please do also mention it in a comment here. Thank you for taking part.”
This post ran on October 17th, 2016. Since we had a full Hunter’s Moon last night (The same night as the full moon in 2016 ), I thought we could revisit the post since it will still look full tonight, and caution should be exercised.
* * *
Since last night the Hunter’s Moon was full, I was inspired to give some thought as to what we should never do during a full moon. I hope you enjoy it. Oh, for you scientists out there, this is all made up. I write fiction, so when looking for truth, I would suggest any place but here.
10 If there is a full moon, do not go into a graveyard just to see what will happen. If you do, at best, you will challenge your all-time best heart rate. At worst, the total recall of Blair Witch Project will have you running for your life. (So you thought you had everything under control, didn’t you?)
9 If there is a full moon, do not ask that cloaked stranger for directions. If you do, at best, it will be too distracted by the moon to answer you. At worst, it will offer you a ride that will be your last. (Those hairy hands should have been a big clue)
8 If there is a full moon, do not back into any rooms, period. If you do, at best, you might trip and fall. At worst, that snarling thing you thought you saw in the backyard is now behind you. (Every moviegoer knows better, Bunkie)
7 If there is a full moon, do not act on the urge to make hay. If you do, at best, there won’t be a lot of grass where you live. At worst, the farmer will think you are poaching his hay and call the police. (Or worse yet, use that rock salt-loaded shotgun to clear his field.)
6 if there is a full moon, do not think your neighbors would appreciate a serenade about the moon and a spoon. If you do, at best, you will suddenly realize why the term “rotten tomatoes” is used to rate talent. At worst, the magistrate will have a tough time trying to justify letting you go free. (Maybe the psychological evaluation will put everyone at ease)
5 If there is a full moon, resist the urge to skinny dip. If you can’t, at best, a quick dip with no one the wiser will be your fate. At worst, after the dog takes your clothes and you are chasing him, the spotlight of your neighbor’s security system bathes you in the light of high noon. (There is a tape that goes with that light, and your neighbor has a pretty high price tag on it)
4 If there is a full moon, under no circumstances do you need to harvest anything. If this advice falls on deaf ears, at best, stick with canned goods. At worst, your quest for a fresh pumpkin at Whole Foods after hours could net you a free night in the county lockup. ( Your roommate Tiny is not the type to feel good about you after the slamming cell door at midnight.)
3 If there is a full moon, do not argue with the traffic officer who just pulled you over. If you do, at best, you’ve guaranteed yourself a ticket. At worst, the officer may be a graduate of an anger management treatment series. (It seems that his events are always triggered during a full moon)
2 If there is a full moon, do not enter a political chat room with the idea of defending your choice for President. If you do, at best, you will be able to turn off your computer. At worst, somehow, the room has discovered your real identity and is threatening to come right over. (Looks like you might need to leave town for a while, huh, Grover?)
1 If there is a full moon, do not answer your door or phone. If you do, at best, it will be someone you know. At worst, there will be a character you’ve never known saying, “I know what you did last summer.” (Yeah, this one is bad. You need to run now.)
As you can see from the headline, we are going to see different things today. We are catered by Salty Sow in Austin. Our entertainment is Pink who is appearing here in Austin at the Austin City Limits festival and agreed to stop by.
Menu
STARTERS
TRUFFLED DEVILED EGGS Salty Sow bacon bits
SALTY SOW CHARCUTERIE + CHEESE BOARD all the fixin’s, toasted baguette
ROASTED BONE MARROW bacon + gruyere crust, toasted baguette
Our first encounter is with an Axis Deer and a middle-aged white-tailed buck. Rumor has it the deer escaped from a local exotic ranch years ago. A native of India the Axis was introduced to Texas in 1932. Looks like he has made friends.
I tried to get closer but no dice. At least we get a view of the back of those beautiful antlers.
The dawn brings a demonstration of affection among the high schoolers.
Dawn also brings a group of does having coffee.
We’ve seen this peacock before but now the mailbox and it has had a redo.
I call this “Chair at Dawn.” I guess the trash pick-up gave a pass to this one.
Here is a photo of my favorite quiet place in the greenbelt. It was taken last year.
Here is the place today. You can see we need rain badly.
I thought this manzanita tree looked good nestled in the Oak and touched by the sun.
A shot of the circulating fountain in the greenbelt. Another favorite.
Whew. This was a fright. Even though we may think of Halloween this is a regular feature on a new resident’s mailbox. Not sure of the message here. Borrowing a cup of sugar is definitely not in the cards.
Gotta love the elephant. Didn’t want to do a string of mail toppers but couldn’t resist this one. I wonder how long before it is spray-painted blue.
Our final stop is to admire some of our doe neighbors. The darker one could be a melanistic deer which are all black and makeup about 8% of the population. The Producer is unsure so we’ll just admire the difference.
That is the tour today. I hope you enjoyed it. Now sit back and enjoy the food and music. I hope you all have a great week.
