Stream of Consciousness Saturday

September 19, 2015September 18, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 25 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and the prompt for this week is “Route/Root.” Linda has kindly consented to let us use them either together or separately. If you would like to join in on the fun, visit Linda’s site for more information. http://lindaghill.com/2015/09/18/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1915/

“So tell me again why you don’t stop for directions.”

“Man, it’s like this is the biggest deal. Okay I don’t stop for directions because every time I do whoever I always ask says, ‘I don’t live around here.’”

“Right now we are in the middle of nowhere, nd I think the Route 37 turn off is way back the other way.”

“I don’t understand why this GPS system is on the fritz. That’s the root cause for our frustration right now.”

“The GPS has nothing to do with my frustration.”

“What does then?”

“That you are so stubborn you won’t stop and ask for directions.”

“Okay I will stop and ask as soon as we see someone.”

“Look there. It’s a guy on a tractor. He must live around here. Stop and ask him.”

“Okay. I’ll pull over here and wave him down. Hey mister. Yeah you. Can you help us?”

“Sure enough son. What’s the problem?”

“My wife and I seem to be lost and wonder if you know where the Route 37 turn off is located?”

“Hmm Route 37 turn off you say?”

“Yes the Route 37 turn off.”

“I can’t rightly say I know where that is.”

“Well I think it might be a couple of miles down that road back the way we came.”

“Okay. If that’s what you believe I would go back and pick it up.”

“I guess I would like to be sure before I go all the way back.”

“Wish I could help but I don’t live around here.”

“You’re on a tractor and you don’t live around here?”

“Nope. I just work the fields during planting season. I actually live on Miami Beach.”

“Figures.”

“I can give you good directions to the best espresso stand in all of South Florida though.”

“Yeah I’ll bet you can.”

“You take I 94 South out of Minneapolis till you get to Illinois─”

“Yeah, thanks. Bye now.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Temp”

September 12, 2015September 11, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 20 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “temp” and Nurse Linda says we can use it anyway we want. If you would like to join in go to Linda Hill’s site and find out how. http://lindaghill.com/2015/09/11/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-1215/

“So where do I put my things?”

“Excuse me but are you sure you have the right place?”

“Yeah. I’m the temp for Sally Sacrose.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know Sally was not in today.”

“Yeah, seems she is sick or something.”

“Sick? I just saw her yesterday was fine.”

“Well she‘s not fine today. I got a call that I was to fill in for the rest of the week.”

“I can’t believe it. I wonder why she didn’t call me?”

“You her boss?”

“No. I’m her friend.”

“Oh. Figures.”

“What do you mean figures?”

“You are all bent cause she didn’t call you.”

“It is strange.”

“Maybe she can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Call. Maybe she is hurt.”

“Oh my gosh. I better call her.”

“So where do I put my things?”

“In the break room is a cubby. You can put your stuff in there. Excuse me the phone is ringing.”

“Fine. I’ll go find it myself.”

“Oh my gosh Sally are you okay? I was so worried. You didn’t call me. Yes the temp is here. You’re kidding. No I can’t believe it. Are you sure you’re okay? Maybe you should go to the hospital. You sure? Okay I’ll let the boss know. Call me later okay? Good. Bye now.”

“How’s Sally?”

“Not that you would care she’s fine no thanks to you.”

“Aw come on. I just tapped her is all.”

“You hit her. Why?”

“I needed the work. It was the only way I could find a temp position. I had to make sure there was an opening.”

“So you hit Sally to take her out?”

“Well it was better than trying to give her the flu.”

“I can’t believe this. I’m going to the boss and report you.”

“Sure you are. Won’t do any good.”

“What do you mean won’t do any good.”

“The boss works for my dad. My dad will tell him to ignore it.”

“We’ll see.”

“Nice knowing you. Good luck on your next job.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Light”

September 5, 2015September 4, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 21 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday and this week’s prompt is “Light.” Linda Hill says we can do whatever we want with it. (Hmm causes one to wonder a bit) If you would like to participate, visit Linda and find out the rules. (Almost none) Here is the link. http://lindaghill.com/2015/09/04/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-sept-515/

“Get that light out of my face.”

“Tell me what you are doing here and maybe I will.”

“I was looking for a glass of water.”

“A glass of water? Here in the family room?”

“Well, I got turned around.”

“I guess so. It would be logical to get a glass of water in the kitchen.”

“Duh. I know that. I just got turned around is all. Get that light outa my face.”

“Not so fast. I still have to wonder how you got into the family room?”

“Okay, okay it’s no big deal. I came in through the window over there.”

“That’s what I thought. So you broke in.”

“No, I didn’t break in. The stupid window was open. I more or less fell in.”

“Fell in?”

“Yeah I was leaning against the house and the next thing I know I’m lying on the floor inside.”

“You don’t think entering someone else’s house is a problem?”

“Someone else’s? This is my house.”

“And who am I then?”

“Damned if I know.”

“Well, if you don’t know I’m not telling. See ya.”

“You’re a burglar. Hey not so fast.”

“What?”

“That’s my flashlight isn’t it?”

“Yup. Bye now.”

“You are taking my only light.”

“Tough break.”

“Yeah, tough. See ya.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Any Four Letter Word

August 29, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again. This week’s prompt is any four letter word. This more or less opens the world of words that have four letters. I guess I could go to all kinds of extra efforts to find a real good four letter word yet the one that immediately comes to mind is love. I think I’ll go with that one. If you would like to join in each week go to Linda’s site and find out how to do it. It’s easy so come on join in. http://lindaghill.com/2015/08/28/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-2915/ Here is my interpretation of a four letter word prompt.

“So you’re part of this prompt thing are ya?”

“Yeah, I am. This week’s is a bit of a puzzle though.”

“How so?”

“The prompt is any four letter word.”

“Any four letter word? Wow I can think of a hundred right off the top of my head.’

“All good for mixed company right?”

“Well anyone I hang out with has heard them all before.”

“I can imagine.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Oh nothing. I just think we’ve all become too casual about the use of profanity.”

“Profanity? What makes you think I was talking about profanity?”

“Oh I don’t know. Just the way you jumped on the four letter thing I guess.”

“Well I’ll have you know the first word that popped into my mind was ‘help.”’

“Help? You serious?”

“Yeah then walk, talk , milk, silk, wish, fish, rant, aunt, tale, fail,near, beer─”

“Okay I get it. I’m sorry I accused you of being profane.”

“Said, dead, keep, beep─”

“Enough. I take it back.”

“I love you man.”

“W-what?”

“You are so gullible.”

“So I was right.”

“Naw. I was thinking of the best one.”

“Which is?”

“Love. As in I love you.”

“You kill me.”

“I love you to death.”

“You can say that again, but please don’t”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Mind”

August 22, 2015August 21, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday has come around again. This week’s prompt is “mind” and can be used in any context according to the dungeon master advice of Linda Hill. If you would like to join in please visit Linda’s site. http://lindaghill.com/2015/08/21/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-2215/

“Say what?”

“I said it looks like you’ve lost your mind.”

“Why on Earth would you say such a thing?”

“Look at you. Your shirt and pants are on backwards and you have no shoes.”

“Did it ever occur to you that I have dressed like this on purpose?”

“No. I also don’t get how you managed to button that shirt.”

“Well I did it on purpose. I’m trying to demonstrate how some of us don’t know if we are coming or going.”

“Who are you demonstrating this idea to?”

“See there you go ending the sentence with a preposition.”

“Okay let me rephrase my question Mr. Grammar. Who are you demonstrating the idea to you idiot?”

“Not who but how many.”

“Okay. How many?”

“Just one.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Who is the one?”

“You know him.”

“Yeah, who is it.”

“Look in this mirror.”

“Have you lost your mind?”

“This is what we call a circular situation.”

“I give up.”

“Well do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Know if you’re coming or going?”

“Please shoot me.”

“Which way?”

“Huh?”

“Coming or going?”

Stream Of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt – “ay”

August 15, 2015August 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again. This week we have a new badge which was established by pitting several bloggers against each other in mortal combat. It was agreed in advance the last one standing would establish the badge for the rest. Since all manners of contests cause me to break out in a rash I did not participate. I do think all the competitors did an excellent job. Special congratulations to Hope Floats for the winning design.

This week’s prompt is “ay.” We are to use a word that ends in ay. If you would like to participate go to Linda Hill’s blog and read about the rules. Here is the link. http://lindaghill.com/2015/08/14/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-1515/ My interpretation follows.

“So tell me again what the guy said to you.”

“He said, ‘Aye matey, you’ll make a fine seaman.’”

“Give me a little more context here. Why would he say that?”

“Well, I asked if he was looking for employees.”

“Employees? On a ship?”

“He was standing on the corner. He had a parrot on his shoulder, and one leg was wooden. He was holding a sign that read Crew members needed. Good, pay.”

“And you decided to talk to him?”

“Aye. I mean yes. I asked him what would be the duties of a crew member.”

“This is getting worse. What did he say?”

“He mentioned manning the sails, swabbing the deck, and boarding other ships.”

“Boarding other ships? The person was a pirate?”

“Nay me hardy. The person was a sea, captain.”

“Nay? Are you nuts? You have a job and a good home.”

“That’s today. What about the future?”

“What possible future could there be in the pirate business?”

“He offered me an eighth split.”

“Split of what.”

“The bounty. You know gold, silver, and jewels.”

“Have you been watching Pirates of the Caribbean again?”

“You gave it to me for my birthday.”

“Yes, I know. I didn’t think it would be a gateway to your delusions.”

“I don’t have a delusion. In fact I gotta go I’m due at the gangway in a half hour.”

“I think I need a jug of Chardonnay.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Enthuse”

August 8, 2015August 7, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 32 Comments

It is “Steam of Consciousness Saturday time again. This week’s prompt is “enthuse.” It can be used with a prefix or suffix. I was trying to think of a prefix but could not come up with one so I’ll go with the original and suffixes. If you would like to join in go to Linda Hill’s site and learn more. Here is the link http://lindaghill.com/2015/08/07/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-815/ Here is my interpretation of the prompt.

“All right team we are going to practice our enthusiasm today.”

“Oh goody, I just love to enthuse before lunch.”

“Who said that?”

“I did.”

“So what’s wrong with enthusiasm? We all need it sometimes.”

“Oh, nothing is wrong with enthusiasm. I just don’t think it is something you can just gin up at will. You either are enthused, or you’re not. You can’t make it up.”

“Nonsense. Enthusiasm is like any other emotion. You can practice being enthusiastic and before you know it you are enthused.”

“I’m sorry I just don’t believe its right.”

“ENTHUSE.”

“Wait. You scared me.”

“Do it.”

“Yay.”

“Bigger. Put your heart into it.”

“Yay?”

“Come on you wimp. Push it.”

“Yay!”

“Better. One more time with gusto.”

“YAY!!”

“Now you are talking. You sound enthusiastic. How do you feel?”

“Enthused sir.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about now. Carry on enthusiastically.”

“Yes, sir. May I be excused?”

“Excused? What for may I ask?”

“I want to prevent enthuse in my pants, sir.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “Ready”

August 1, 2015July 31, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 27 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday time. This week’s prompt is “Ready.” We minions are allowed to use it any way we want. Humm, I can think of a few ways. If you would like to join the madness fun, please go to Linda Hill’s blog and read up on what is needed. http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-115/

“So are you ready?”

“Ready for what?”

“Ready to go.”

“Ready to go where?”

“Ready to go home.”

“Am I ready to go home?”

“I think that is the question. Yes, are you ready to go home?”

“No. I’m not ready.”

“Why aren’t you ready?”

“I’m not drunk enough.”

“Oh, I think you are.”

“Are what?”

“Drunk enough.”

“I think I’ve drunk enough but am not drunk enough. Does that make sense?”

“I guess in a weird way it makes sense. So you ready?”

“Sure let me get my shoes.”

“While you’re at it I would get your pants as well.”

“Might come in handy.”

“Yup.”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt “VIS”

July 25, 2015July 25, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

Stream of Consciousness Saturday time again and this week’s prompt is “VIS.” Linda Hill in her graciousness has allowed us to use VIS any way we want. For more information about this painful, exciting prompt go here. http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/24/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-2515/

All VISITORS MUST CHECK IN said the sign on the receptionist’s desk. Vincent stopped and waited for the young lady to acknowledge him.

“Yes, sir. May I help you?”

“Yes, you may. I’m here to see Mr. Viscount.”

“Do you have an appointment?”

“I represent VIS Racing and yes I do.”

“Yes sir please sign in and I will call his assistant.”

“Thank you.”

“Sir?”

“Yes.”

“Mr. Viscount is in the visual studio and cannot be disturbed.”

“But I have an appointment for ten o’clock.”

“I understand, but his assistant said he has a concern with the stock price of VIS vis-a-vis other industrials.”

“What is VIS?”

“Vangard Industrials.”

“They’re my competition. Why is he so concerned?”

“I would say he stands to lose a lot of money and if so his partner as well.”

“Partner? How come?”

“The partner goes where the Visa card goes, and Mr. Vincent might be broke enough to lose his.”

“Do you have the partner’s phone number?”

Stream of Consciousness Saturday – Prompt Fly/FLies/Flew/Flu/Flue

July 18, 2015July 18, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

It is Stream of Consciousness Saturday again and this week’s prompt is Fly/Flies/Flew/Flu/Flue. If you would like to participate, visit Linda Hill at http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/17/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-jily-1815/ Here is my interpretation.

Fly/Flies/Flew/Flu/Flue by John W. Howell

When flies flew down the flue,

I could not fly with fly flu.