The inspiration for this list is the Thursday Door prompt as interpreted by Dan Antion. I have often thought when looking at his photos what would happen if certain things went wrong. So here they are, and I’m glad to report Dan has done none of these things.
10 If you are taking door photos, do not ignore that no trespassing sign. If you do, at best you’ll get a warning shot. At worst, the owner will have a pack of wild dogs trained to discourage trespassing. (You finally found out how quickly you can run, Donahue. Too bad those dogs are faster.)
9 If you are taking door photos, do not keep shooting pictures while Tiny, the WWF Champ is waving at you. If you do, at best, he is friendly. At worst, he just entered the witness protection program and thinks you are on the opposite team. (This would be a good time to try out those new Nike running shoes, Donato. Oh dear, you forgot to wear them? Try not to scream then.)
8 If you are taking door photos, do not try to shoot and drive. If you do, at best, you’ll get many photos of your reflection. At worst, you are so occupied you miss that curve. (Looks like you are in someone’s bedroom, Donny. I think I would make up a story and fast.)
7 If you are taking door photos, do not continue to back up without looking behind you. If you do, at best you’ll fall into a flower bed. At worst, you now know the meaning of free fall, Dontell. I don’t think flapping your arms is going to help. You can try it though.)
6 If you are taking door photos, do not forget to keep your thumb out of the field of vision. If you do, at best one or two will turn out. At worse, your door photos all have a significant close up of your thumb. (No matter how you try to sell the shot as artistic, Duante, everyone knows what really happened.)
5 If you are taking door photos, do not become distracted by the obscure. If you do, at best some of your fans might enjoy the “door to the alley” shot. At worst, that close up of a ham sandwich looks to be anything but a ham sandwich. (Looks like those comments are not going in your favor, huh Dorion?)
4 If you are taking door photos, do not focus on only those door you like. If you do, at best your audience will fade. At worst, after the one-hundredth shot of the Burger King entrance, someone will mercifully take your camera away from you. (You’ll be able to get it back, Doughall after a hundred hours of community service.)
3 If you are taking door photos, do not try to include exciting people. If you do, at best they’ll only cover up the door. At worst, you’ll have someone in your shot who has a thing about obscene gestures. (Okay I would take that one over, Draven. This is a family post after all.)
2 If you are taking door photos, do not think the weather will co-operate. If you do, at best some will think that door photo with snowflakes is artistic. At worst, your light setting will be thrown off by the repeated lightning strikes. (You need to find cover, Driscol. You also need to get some rubber shoes for grounding. My goodness the last bolt did some funny things to your hair.)
1 If you are taking door photos, do not think you need to have each one be perfect. If you do, at best you will shoot so many that you run out of memory. At worst, you will photo shop the photo until it no longer looks like the door you shot. (What makes you think folks want to see a business building door look like the entrance to the Vatican, Duff?)
Fiction Favorites 
Too funny…for some reason #7 hit home. Of course, I don’t know why. Who would back up and not look behind? 😀
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Many cartoons. Art imitating life? Thanks, Gwen
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Ha-ha-ha! Amazing sushi-set, dear John! The photo you have chosen for the post adds some humoristic mood as well.
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Thank you, Maria. 😀
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Sometimes I think it might be good that I’m an awful photographer!
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At least you are still here. 😀
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I always wondered why so many people flap their arms when falling. Deep down, are we all Wile E. Coyote?
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I don’t want to find out from personal experience. Thanks, Charles.
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Maybe diving into the water? I don’t know. Heights aren’t my thing.
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Me either. 🙂
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This was hilarious, John!
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Thanks, Jill. 😀
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Ha! I try to keep tabs on Thursday Doors from several bloggers. So this was fun, John. You slayed me with the one about Burger King doors. Have a marvelous Monday. Hugs!
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Thank you, Teagan. Have a super Monday….wait! Did I just say that. Ahem. Have a survivable Monday. 😀 Hugs
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LOL. Mordor seems inescapable… Monday is my one work-at-home day (some people get 4), and that *usually* helps. So my fingers are crossed for today. 😉
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YAY. Happy Monday then.
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Bushwa! The Orcs attacked anyway… Oh well…
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ERP. Oh well indeed.
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Thanks for the mention, John. These are great, and I haven’t jkhakjhaghfgkjhakjsdfhjdfhad sorry, there was some static on the Internet. Where was I – Oh yeah, Tiny.
I need to sort through my recent photos and cull out the Burger King shots, damn, that was some of my best work.
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Ha ha ha. Glad you enjoyed it. I did say you never did any of these. Keep the BK shots undercover. 😀
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Ha ha – deal!
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🙂
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That’s the problem with us, folks… we wanna make our doors looks perfect haha
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As well as everything else. 😀
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👍😂😉
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😀
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Oh, I put my photographer days behind me because of number 7. I have backed up into so many things to get the right shot (including traffic). Good one John. happy week.
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Thanks, Andrew. Wishing you the same.
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Thanks
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😀
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Good list to keep in mind when I bring out my camera. Thanks, John!
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Better to tape it to your camera.
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Great list, John. I’ve often wondered how photographers get just the right shot without angering the folks they’re trying to photograph (or the things belonging to those folks).
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They have to work fast. Thanks, Debbie.
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Yeah, a guy has got to do Taco Bell every once in awhile just to mix things up.
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That is so true. Especially in Minnesota
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I think you are on to.something with community service for taking too many photos of Burger Kings door! I believe I may be guilty of a couple… lol.
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Ha haha. Thanks, Denise.
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Funny stuff, John. Exciting people making obscene gestures made me chuckle. 🙂 Oh yeah, and that free-falling stuff. Ouch! Another great list.
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Thank you, Jan
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Wouldn’t the airplane door look cool from out on the wing?
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That would be cool.
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Reblogged this on Author Don Massenzio and commented:
Check out this post from John Howell’s Fiction Favorites blog with the top ten things not to do while photographing doors
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Thank you, Don.
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My pleasure.
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A very good post this week, John. I see a few of these interesting door posts on a weekly basis.
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Thanks, Robbie. ;-D
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Hilarious, John. #4 made me laugh out loud, as did Tiny in the witness protection program. A nice salute to Dan and his terrific doors posts.
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LOL! That was hilarious!
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I was hoping yo would like it.
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🙂 I did!
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😀
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I love this, John! Fun and funny! I plan to photograph doors among other things on my next vacation. I’m going to Japan this summer. I’m sure the doors will be different and amazing, as well as the architecture.
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You should have fun. Best wishes Vashti.
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Thank you, John. ❤
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🙂
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I’ve so many photos of doors, that none of the family ever want to see my photos anymore, John. I’m just too afraid to delete them in case I can use them for something else. I’m a hoarder of doors (so to speak).
Have a great weekend.
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Yeah, I wouldn’t toss them either. 😀
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My favorite is #7 where the guy backs over a cliff. I hope he had a parachute. If not and he survives I hope he has insurance–lots of it. I see Tiny is now in the witness protection program. He must travel in dangerous company. Yes, I’d definitely run. Good list, John. 😀 — Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne. Missed you.
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