Top Ten Things Not to Leave in Your Car

~ John W. Howell
Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

 

This post originally ran on February 22, 2016. I think the advice remains the same today. I hope you enjoy it.

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The inspiration for this list came on a trip to Austin, Texas two weeks ago. Of course, I didn’t do any of these things, but they came to me while unloading the car. Also, I didn’t try to include kids and pets since there is nothing funny about a possible tragedy. I hope you enjoy it.

Top Ten Things Not to Leave in Your Car

10 Do not leave a leftover Big Mac in your car. If you do, at best, you will need to ride with the windows down for a week. At worst, you will have to call Terminix to get rid of your new insect passengers. (Bad deal since it was only there for a week, after all)

9 Do not leave your phone in your car. If you do, at best, the sun will give you a new look to your case. At worst, you will wish you had bought the insurance when you get your blob’s replacement price. (No one told you those things were so delicate, did they?)

8 Do not leave your laundry in your car. If you do, at best, those wrinkles will be permanent. At worst, those plastic bags will become part of your fabric. (You got a lot of compliments on the new look, right?)

7 Do not leave your loaded gun in your car. (Texas, after all) If you do, at best, the temperature will remain below the flash point. At worst, your gun will go off and put a hole in the side of your car and the three others parked in a line parallel to yours. (It was only going to be a quick run into the store, right? That SWAT team looks pretty serious.)

6 Do not leave the twelve red roses in your car. If you do, at best, the recipient will not notice a slight wilt. At worst, you will present someone with twelve stems and try to explain how $70.00 worth of blooms are on the floor of your car. ( Man, the sun gets hot, doesn’t it?)

5 Do not leave the first-grade birthday cupcakes in your car. If you do, at best, you can tell the kids they are still warm from the oven. At worst, you will be trying to sell a new treat called cupcake crumble to gullible youth. (I’ll bet they don’t believe you. What do you think?)

4 Do not leave your keys in your car. If you do, at best, the keyman will only charge $75.00 to open the door. At worst, the local car thieves will be able to open your door for free, but you will never see the car again. (Sure, it was inadvertent but still.)

3 Do not leave your suitcase in the car where it can be seen. If you do, at best, no one will notice it on the backseat. At worst, whoever took out your back window figured you had thirty pounds of gold bars in that case. (Go figure. The window will only be $400.00)

2 Do not leave your half-full coffee cup in the holder. If you do, at best, when you return, the coffee will be stale. At worst, you will take a sip, and your lip will immediately blister from the 180-degree heat. (The melted handle should have been your clue.)

1 Do not leave your valuable vintage CD collection in your car. If you do, at best, they may sound a little warped when you play them next. At worst, you will be the proud owner of the largest stack of fused CDs (You can spend months trying to pry them apart or just call it an avant guarde sculpture.)

72 thoughts on “Top Ten Things Not to Leave in Your Car”

  1. I confess. Years ago, I left my keys in the car. I’m still amazed by the AAA guy opening the door in a couple of seconds. Who knew it was that simple or maybe it’s just my car? 🙄

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Back before key fobs, our first Irish Setter locked me out of my truck at the gas station. My wife was able to bring her keys over, but not before an angry attendant shared his thoughts before letting me use his phone.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. It was one of those moments when I needed some help and the guy decided to be a jerk. I’ve never been back to that station, and I’ve bought an awful lot of gas since then.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Please don’t bring up locked keys in the car! The worst time was when the BCAA guy came and opened the door without having to break in. (The keys were in the car, in the ignition, but I had not actually locked the car. Duh. I am still waiting for my Darwin award!) My husband has now bought me a car in which it is impossible to lock the keys inside.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m probably guilty of most of these, except for leaving the keys in the car. Luckily the newer cars don’t let you do that – with the ringing or buzzing or ping-ping-ping. The cupcakes? Well the frosting had melted and run down the sides!

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Good one, John! I read articles in our local paper all the time of people reporting the theft of things left in their unlocked car. I can never figure out how people can leave a laptop, phone or purse in their unlocked car.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oh dear. Great list, John. It certainly points to the differences between one location and another. You might not want to leave ice cream in your car, but we can’t leave hot chocolate (especially in the winter months!)

    Liked by 1 person

  13. 12 red roses I liked the most, because you always have to have them just in case LOL I like the rest of the list as well, not only have I a mental picture but also the smells that come with it

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Great list, John. Yep, that sounds like a Texas summer. Here’s another for anyone in bear country. Do not leave food of any kind in the car, unless, of course, you want it demolished by marauding bears.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Yeah, it finally got to a point where I realized that my everyday music cds were now vintage, and I probably shouldn’t be leaving them in a hot car! ROFL! That’s a good one!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. In Texas you shouldn’t leave anything in your car in the summer. Good ones. If you leave anything, make sure you lock the doors at least. Sadly, sometimes children or pets get left in the car in the heat.

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  21. Never leave your Mickey D’s ANYWHERE. What you don’t eat in one sitting becomes refuse almost instantly. And as for the coffee? If it was Starbucks, how could you tell the difference?

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  22. I think I ate some of those birthday cupcakes before. They looked positively revolting, yet how do you tell a child you don’t want their cupcakes?🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  27. We will need a new number 1 John. Our previous car had a CD player that was not once used in its 12 years with us. New cars don’t even pretend that CDs were popular among humans at some time.

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