Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Storytime again, and last week we left Ralph telling the commander that he was coming out. We need to get back quickly so that we don’t miss any of the action. This episode could be the end of Ralph and we wouldn’t want to miss that circumstance. Unfortunately, we do not have a sponsor this week, but the good part is we don’t have to worry about offending someone directly.
“Okay, Y’all need to gather around. We are going out there, and I need everyone to get close.”
“Daddy. You can’t be serious. You want us to protect you without bodies.”
“Don’t be a simp Alexis. They’re not going to shoot you innocents.”
“How do you know that, daddy?”
“Yeah, Ralph. How do your know that?”
“Trudy and Alexis. What federal officer in his right mind would take out an innocent bystander or a hostage?”
“I would do that, Ralph.”
“Shut up Ben. Don’t call me Ralph. Its Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Mr. Worthe. How do you know all those Federal Agents are in their right mind?”
“Lightfoot. I think you need to shut up as well.”
“But Daddy. You know about all those shootings by police officers. How do you know there isn’t one of those out there?”
“For heaven’s sake. You all sound like you are lunatics. Enough talk. Gather round.”
“Not going to do it, Ralph.”
“Trudy. You know this will work.”
“Nope. You have been a lousy husband, and I’m not taking one in the head for you. I’m sitting right here. Have a safe trip.”
“Trudy. You sure pick a fine time to bring up our marital problems. Okay so who cares. You stay here. I’m sure you will love spending the next fifty years in jail.”
“Would be better than being with you. Besides, they have nothing on me. You’re the guilty one.”
“Don’t make me laugh Trudy. Everyone knows I don’t have the sense to come in out of the rain and you are the mastermind.”
“Whatever Ralph. As I said, have a nice trip.”
“Okay, the rest of you. On your feet.”
“Sorry Daddy. My mind’s made up too. I’m staying.”
“Suit yourself. I think two hostages will be enough.”
“Count me out pops.”
“Ben. How about I give you a third eye? There is no reason to shoot my loved ones. I can’t say the same for you. Now get up.”
“Well, now that you put it that way.”
“Next time you call me anything but Mr. Worthe I’m going to put one in your kneecap. Got it junior?”
“Sheesh, what a grouch.”
Well, it is too bad we have run out of time. Tune in next week for a conclusion. (er maybe)

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

Hump day

 

It is Wednesday Story Day time again. This week’s episode is brought to you by an excellent blog written by Gwen Plano. Her blog is one where you can visit with the expectation of being inspired. Visit. You will be glad you did. http://www.gwenplano.com/blog-reflections.
Last week we witnessed Ralph Worthe starting to come apart at the seams. He openly stated he was using his family as a shield. We need to go back and find out where he will lead us.
“Mr. Worth I think you are unraveling.”
“Lightfoot if you say that again I may have to pop you one.”
“That would leave one less hostage.”
“So who cares I have three more.”
“Ralph Worthe. You better get a grip here.”
“Trudy. I want you to sit down and shut up.”
“Daddy. You can’t talk to mother that way.”
“Alexis you need to be quiet.”
“I will not be quiet. You are making us very upset. Ben, why are you just sitting there?”
“Uh. Cause he has the gun.”
“That’s right sonny. I have the gun. Y’all better just get used to the idea that you can’t do much about what I need to do.”
“You are going to die, Ralph. You know that don’t you?”
“I’m going to tell you one more time to shut up.”
“Is that your phone ringing.”
“I’m not going to answer it.”
“What if they have met your demands?”
“Okay. hello?”
“Mr. Worthe. This is the commander.”
“Yes. what is it?”
“We are all set. The SUV’s are here, and the jet is waiting for you..”
“Okay. I’m coming out.”

Will Ralph make it to the jet? (or even out the front door)  Tune in next week to find out. In the meantime visit Gwen Plano at http://www.gwenplano.com/blog-reflections.

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Hump Day

 

It is Wednesday Story day again and this week’s episode is sponsored by Dan Antion. For those of you who don’t read the comments on this story, Dan has been advocating shooting all the characters and be done with it. I have to admit emotionally I am in Dan’s camp. Visit Dan at his blog No Facilities. He has some super features. Here is the link.
Last week we left Ralph being honked off at the SWAT commander for calling him a nut. The commander didn’t mean to do that, but the phone at Ralph’s end was on speaker, so he heard the comment. Let’s go back and see what consequences are brought to bear. (A little literary drama for the high brows)
“Now slow down Ralph. You need to remain calm.”
“Calm for who commander?”
“Agent Lightfoot. You still there?”
“Yes, commander.”
“Can you convince Ralph—”
“Mr. Worthe to you copper.”
“Okay, Mr. Worthe. Lightfoot can you convince Mr. Worthe that he needs to remain calm.”
“Lightfoot is in no position to convince anyone of anything. He is a liar. He showed up trying to convince us he is a priest and come to find out he is an FBI stooge.”
“Mr. Worthe. We are working on your demands and just want you to take it easy, so there are no accidents.”
“Yeah, I heard about your accidents commander. Ask all the people in the Branch Davidians about an accident. You threatening me Commander.”
“No Ra—er Mr. Worthe. No threats. We can’t have you being upset and accidentally shooting Lightfoot now can we?”
“ It would be no accident, commander.”
“Lightfoot. You okay?”
“I am Commander.”
“So let’s leave it that we will be arranging transportation for you Mr. Worth. We can’t get a helicopter into this neighborhood. There are too many trees. So we will get a nice big SUV . You will be taken to the airport where there is a jet waiting to take you to the Cayman Islands. How’s that sound.”
“I’m not happy about the helicopter but understand. When does the SUV get here?”
“I’d say in ten minutes or so.”
“Fine. Worthe out.”
“Okay, Lightfoot. I have to say you were right about calling them.”
“Thank you, Ralph.”
“Mr. Worthe to you.”
“Yeah I get it.”
“What about us Dear?”
“Trudy you and Alexis will stay close to me. Lightfoot will be our shield. I’m sure they will have a sharpshooter out there and will try to pick me off. I’m going to be in the middle of all of you.”
“You using us as a shield?”
“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way, Trudy.”
“I don’t know how else to put it.”
“Calm down it will be okay.”
“You are a beast your know that Ralph?”
“Now Trudy.”
“Yeah, daddy. I’ve never heard of a father using his child as a shield.”
“I think you are losing control, Ralph.”
“Shut up Lightfoot and its Mr. Worthe to you.”
I have to agree with Lightfoot; it does look like Ralph is losing control. Come back next week for another episode. In the meantime visit Dan Antion at http://www.nofacilities.com

 

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

 

Funny Collage

It is Wednesday Story Time again and this week’s story is brought to you by John Fioravanti and his terrific blog. http://fiorabooks.com where John has an inspirational message for us all.
Last week Ralph Worthe hung up on the hostage negotiator and the negotiator fearing for those inside the house asked for permission to storm the house. We better get back there to find out it the permission was granted or who else is going on.
“You know Ralph that negotiator is going to ask for authorization to storm this place.”
“Shut-up Lightfoot. I’m running this not you.”
“I’m just saying if you value your life and that of Alexis and Trudy you should get back on the line.”
“I’m showing them who’s boss Lightfoot.”
“Well, when those troopers come through that door, they aren’t going to respect the fact that you are the boss. There will be enough lead flying around this place to take us all out.”
“They’re not going to shoot one of their own.”
“Believe me, they won’t mean to kill anyone but you. That will be a moot point once the bullets start to fly. That twenty-two of yours won’t stop anyone. Look what happened when you shot me.”
“Maybe I need you to talk to them. How about you do that while I hold this twenty-two against your head. I guarantee that it will make a nice hole in your brain.”
“Daddy you have us all scared.”
“That’s right Ralph, Alexis and I can’t stop shaking.”
“You two make me sick. You talk big but when it is time to play in the big time you turn chicken.”
“Mr. Worthe. I think you ought to surrender.”
“You know Ben. When I want your whimp advice, I’ll ask for it. How about it Lightfoot. You game to play?”
“Sure, I’ll talk to them. What are your demands?”
“I want a helicopter on the front lawn to take us to the airport and then a  jet to the Cayman’s.”
“You know they come get you in the Cayman’s.”
“Duh. Let me worry about that part. Just tell em what I want.”
“Okay. Let’s hope we can get them on the line.”
“Their phone number is in “recent calls.” They called me remember?”
“I got it. Here goes.

“Hello.”
“Hello, Commander this is agent Lightfoot.”
“My God, Lightfoot is that guy nuts or what?”
“I have you on speaker Commander.”
“Yeah Commander. I’m not nut, but getting furious.”
Wow, we will need to tune in again next week for another episode. In the meantime, visit John Fioravanti at http://fiorabooks.com

Wednesday Story Time – AKA Hump Day

 

funny college

Last week we left the Worthe’s surrounded by a SWAT team, and Ralph was on the phone with the SWAT negotiator. It appears that Father Lightfoot is now a hostage and Ralph is threatening to shoot him unless his demands are met. We have no idea what those demands are but better go back and see. This week’s Wednesday Story Time is brought to you by Texas writer Jan Sikes. She has an excellent series of books, based on a true story and you can visit her blog to learn more. Here is the link. http://www.rijanjks.wordpress.com Now let’s join the Worthe’s and all the fun they are having.
“Okay, okay Mr. Worthe. Before I hear your demands, I need to make sure Lightfoot is okay.”
“He’s okay.”
“Not that I don’t trust you MR.WORTHE but I will need to talk to Lightfoot.”
“Ain’t going to happen. Take my word; he’s okay.”
“I guess this call is over then Mr. Worthe. Please enjoy the rest of your day.”
“Wait…Okay, I’ll put him on.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Hello.”
“Lightfoot is that you.”
“Yes, commander it is.”
“Are you hurt.”
“I think Worthe cracked one of my ribs with that pea shooter of his.”
“Can you still function?”
“Yes, I was wearing a vest. Worth has his .22 pointed at my head, though.”
“What about the rest?”
‘All in the kitchen with me.”
“Okay good. Try to keep them there.”
“gotta go commander. Bye.”
“Wait. Lightfoot?”
“No, it’s Worthe now.”
“Mr. Worthe. I want to assure you that as long as no harm comes to Agent Lightfoot, you have my word that you and your family will be safe.”
“Safe? You calling living under Marshall Law safe?”
“Marshall Law? Whatda you talking about?”
“As if you didn’t know. You and your agencies have been spying on us for years.”
“Mr. Worthe. Please stay with me. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, sure you don’t. How would you like to live in fear for your whole life.”
“Uh. Mr. Worthe? You okay?”
“You’ll see all right in a minute.”
“Mr. Worthe you haven’t told me your demands.”
“Maybe it’s too late for demands. Worth out.”
“Worthe. Mr. Worthe. Hello, Mr. Worthe. Damn the line’s now busy. Hello, Central.”
“Central go ahead.”
“Worthe just hung up. I tried calling back and get a busy signal. Need the authorization to breach.”
Well, this does not look good for the folks in the house. We’ll have to wait and see if the permission to storm the house is given or maybe if Ralph comes to his senses and comes back on the line. Please visit today’s sponsor Jan Sikes and check out her new book. http://www.rijanjks.wordpress.com Till next week then.

Wednesday Story Time – AKA Hump Day

funny-college-10-10

 

It is Wednesday Story Day again, and last week we left Father Lightfoot, Ben, Alexis, Trudy, and Ralph Worthe in a situation where Ralph had a gun aimed at Father Lightfoot. There were several laser dots on Ralph and Trudy Worthe from the outside. Just when we thought Father Lightfoot was going to talk Ralph into putting the gun down, Ralph pulls the trigger. I’m sure you are like me and put your fingers in your ears in order not to hear the subsequent reports from the SWAT team outside. We had better go back to see what happened. If you would rather stay behind, I will give you a full report.
I’m also pleased to open Wednesday Story Time to a sponsorship for each episode. There is no cost, but you have to be okay with being associated with the craziness of the feature. A sponsor can be a blog, book, or event. If you would like to participate send me an e-mail at johnhowell (dot) wave (at) gmail (dot) com. Now let us see what is going on.
“There is a shot in the house.”
“Hold your fire. All members hold your fire.”
“I still have a bead, sir.”
“Just hold your fire and stay with the subject. There is no authorization to take anyone down.”
“Who’s going to give the order?”
“Lightfoot is in charge. We wait for his signal.”
“What if he’s the one hit.”
“That little weapon couldn’t hurt a fly. Just hold on. We’ll give it five minutes. All copy?”
“Copy.”
“Copy here.”
“Copy that.”
“Copy sir.”
“Yes, copy. Not happy but copy.”
“Fine. Just relax everyone. Do not let anyone out of the house. We do not want deadly fire. Repeat no fatal fire. Shoot to stop not kill. Any questions? Okay, I’ll take your silence as an affirmative.”
“Excuse me, sir.”
“What is it, Bates.”
“What if the guy comes out with a weapon.”
“Hit him in the knee.”
“Yes, sir.”
“You can do that can’t you Bates?”
“Yes, sir. Knee sir.”
“Now let’s cut the chatter and keep sharp.”
“Hey you in the yard. Hey, can you hear me?”
“We can hear you. Please identify yourself.”
“I’m Ralph Worthe. Who are you?”
“Agent Matthews. What do you want.?”
“I have a hostage, and I want you people to back off.”
“Who is your hostage?”
“The guy called Lightfoot.”
“Is he okay.”
“Yes. I did shoot him, but he has a vest. My twenty-two just bruised him. I now have him tied up. I can assure you I have nothing to lose and next time I will put one between his eyes.”
“We need to hear from Lightfoot. Do you have a cell phone?”
“Yes I do, but there will be no conversations that I can’t hear.”
“Don’t you think this yelling back and forth is a bit hard on the throat. Put the damn thing on speaker.”
“Uh. Well, I guess that will be okay. Here’s the number five, five, five, six, oh, seven nine. Got it?”
“I got it. I’m calling now.”
“Hello.”
“Yeah Ralph this is Matthews.”
“I swear I will kill this man if my demands aren’t met.”
“Easy Ralph.”
“That’s Mr. Worthe to you.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

funny college

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left father Lightfoot facing a gun held by Mr. Worthe. Meanwhile Ben seems only concerned with the fact that he might not get the fifty thousand dollars. Alexis is still standing with a tray of ice tea. She implored her father to put the gun down. Trudy asked Alexis to leave the room. Whew! This story is becoming a real mess. We better get back and see if any of these fools will prevent the shooting of Father Lightfoot.
“Mr. Worthe. I am going to ask you one more time to put that gun down.”
“From where I’m standing Lightfoot you are not in a position to ask for anything.”
“As an agent of the FBI, I am demanding that you lay the gun on the floor. I can’t be responsible for your safety if you don’t follow my directions.”
“What a laugh Lightfoot. You gonna pray for the Lone Ranger or something?“
“Prayer is not needed Worthe. You need to give up.”
“Give up? Don’t make me laugh.”
“Daddy.”
“Alexis I thought your mother told you to go in the next room.”
“I did dear. Now go in the next room.”
“But daddy. There are a whole bunch of red dots on your back. There are a couple on mom too.”
“That’s right Worthe. There are six sharpshooters who have a bead on you and Trudy. Now put down that gun. Besides, it’s only a .22 caliber and could hardly hurt a fly.”
“How the hell do you know what this gun is?”
“Twenty years in the service. That’s how.”
“Okay, smart man. See if this feels like a .22.”
“Daddy you shot him.”
“Oh my God.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

Funny college

 

Wednesday Story Day again. As you have probably guessed the story is beginning to start its conclusion dance. Last week Father Lightfoot showed up at the Worthe’s. Father Lightfoot was explaining to Ben that he thought Trudy was on to him. Just when he was going to tell Ben why he thought so, Trudy herself made an appearance. Lucky for all of us Alexis showed up with some ice tea. We haven’t seen Mr. Worthe for a while and have no idea what he is doing. We must go now and see if someone is going to do something to someone else.
“I asked you, Father, if there was anything I should know.”
“Mrs. Worthe. Believe me; there is nothing you should know.”
“What about the little secrets between you and Ben.”
“secrets? What secrets?”
“Oh come on, Father. You must take me for an idiot. You know very well you put Ben up to spying on our family.”
“Mrs. Worthe, he did not.”
“Shut up Ben. Let the good Father tell me that lie.”
“Ben’s right Mrs. Worthe. I did no such thing.”
“What if I told you I have a certain recording of you two hatching a plan. Also, I know you are a federal agent Lightfoot. If that is even your name.”
“Mrs. Worthe. You have an active imagination, but now you are letting it get the best of you.”
“You calling me a liar, Lightfoot.”
“No. I just think you are getting a little wound up in your conspiracy theories.”
“Don’t move Lightfoot.”
“Daddy, what are you doing with that gun?”
“Shush honey. This Lightfoot character is trying to put your mother and me in jail.”
“But daddy guns are dangerous. You are pointing it right at the Father.”
“He’s no father. He’s a federal agent.”
“I would suggest you put that gun away Worthe. Up to now, your crimes have been in the white-collar category. You are taking your offenses in a whole different direction.”
“Shoot him dear.”
“Daddy don’t. Mom. How could you suggest such a thing.”
“You should leave the room Alexis honey. You don’t need to be here.”
“Mrs. Worthe.”
“What Ben.”
“You aren’t going to give me fifty thousand are you?”
“Ben my boy. I don’t care what people say. You are brighter than you look.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

College

 

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left Alexis and Ben in a conversation that looked like they were going to become friends again. (We never know). As they were talking Father Lightfoot is seen walking up to the house. We had better get over there since we don’t want to miss a single moment of what is going to transpire as a result of his visit. Ben has an idea that his fifty thousand dollars will be going bye-bye in the wake of the visit. I’ll race you.
“Stay here, Ben. I’ll answer the door. Mother doesn’t like the good Father much so maybe I can head him off.”
“Good idea. I’ll stay out of sight.”
“Why hello Father Lightfoot. What brings you here today?”
“Hi, Alexis. I was wondering if Ben is still here? I haven’t heard from him in some time and thought I would check in to see if he is okay.”
“Do come in Father. Ben is here. He is in the living room. I’ll take you to him.”
“Thank you very much. Is your mother home?”
“Yes. Mom’s in the back room getting something for Ben. Speaking of Ben here he is.”
“Hi, Father. Long time no see.”
“Yes, Ben. I have been expecting a call from you and wondered how you were.”
“Oh, just Fine father. Mrs. Worthe and Alexis have been fantastic.”
“Alexis could you excuse Ben and me for a second. I need to talk to him in private.”
“Certainly. I’ll get us something to drink. Ice tea?”
“That would swell. Thank you.”
“Give me a second Ben. I want to make sure Alexis is in the kitchen. Ah, I can hear her getting the tea. Okay, tell me what’s going on?”
“Nothing Father er agent. Nothing’s going on.”
“What? You mean to tell me you’ve been in this house, and you have not picked up anything?”
“No, sir. These people are exactly what you see. Alexis is an air head and Mrs. Worthe is a business person.”
“What about off-shore accounts?”
“Never heard anything about them.”
“What about the Cayman’s?”
“We are all going there.”
“Oh ho. So they will probably empty the accounts while you’re there.”
“I never heard them say that.”
“Of course not, Ben. They’re not stupid. I suspect they don’t trust you.”
“Why not?”
“Trudy Worthe is a smart person. I believe she thinks you are working for me.”
“How does she know you are not a priest?”
“I’m not sure, but I get the feeling she is on to me.”
“Well look who’s here. Father Lightloafers.”
“Hello, Mrs. Worthe. Ben and I were just talking about you.”
“Oh, I’ll just bet you were. Anything I should know?”
“Here’s the ice tea everyone.”
“Ah, Alexis. I’ll just bet the good Father is glad you interrupted.”
“Really Father? Why’s that?”
“Long story Alexis. Long story.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

 

Hump Day

It is Wednesday Story Day again which means we have to go back there and check on Mrs. Worthe and Ben (Please don’t make me.) Last week we left Ben in a position where he was offered a fifty-thousand dollar payoff if he would go with the Worthe’s to the Cayman Islands. Mrs. Worthe asked him to step in the house so she could get the money. The last line spoken last week was by Ben and he said, “After you Mrs. Worthe.”
“Why thank you, Ben. You are such a gentleman after all.”
“Truth be told I don’t want to turn my back on you .”
“Now there you go you, naughty boy. Being rude again.”
“Well, I calls em as I sees em.”
“Cute. Where did you get that one an old Gabby Hayes movie?”
“Who?”
“Never mind. Stay here I’ll get the money.”
“OMG look who’s here.”
“Hi, Alexis. How are you?”
“Just fine Ben. Mom told me you had gone away.”
“She could only hope.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Your mom has invited me to the Cayman’s?”
“No way.”
“Yes, way. She wants me to come with you guys and soak up a little sun before she eliminates me.”
“Don’t talk silliness. She’s not going to hurt you.”
“Well, I have to beg to differ. She is in the bedroom getting $50,000 for me. It’s an incentive to get me to go.”
“Fifty thousand? How about us. Isn’t that incentive enough.”
“You told me to get lost.”
“My mom told me you told her that you didn’t want to see me anymore.”
“As I said it was a lie.”
“Let’s not fight, Ben. After all, we have a whole month together. Who knows what can happen.”
“You give up your nun vows?”
“You bad boy. I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about the beach, pool, and nightclubs.”
“Yeah, I could have guessed.”
“Who is that coming up the walk. Why it’s Father Lightfoot. What do you suppose brings him here.”
“Not sure. I have a feeling it’s going to be an expensive visit, though.”