Wednesday Story day – AKA – Hump Day #JusJoJan

January 27, 2016September 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 36 Comments

Wednesday Story day again. Last week we witnessed Ben shooting himself and the rest of the group trying to figure out what to do with him. Meanwhile poor Ben is still bleeding, and Mrs. Worthe has come up with a plan to drop Ben at the hospital with a wild story about being jumped by a gang. Alexis and her father responded when Mrs. Worthe wanted confirmation they understood what to do. Mrs. Worth asked Ben if he knew the plan and last week he didn’t answer. We should go back and see what has happened to Ben.
“Ben do you understand the plan. Ben open your eyes and look at me.”
“You still here Mrs. Worthe?”
“Of course, I’m here.”
“That means I’ve gone to hell.”
“Shut up Ben. You’ve gone nowhere. You have a little gunshot wound is all. Quit being so dramatic.”
“Dramatic? Hand me that gun and I’ll give you a shot in the foot, and you can see what dramatic looks like.”
“Now Ben Mommy is just trying to help.”
“I feel her warmth, Alexis. I suppose we ought to get moving.”
“Good boy Ben. Now you are thinking with something other than your low self-esteem.”
“You going to the hospital with me Mrs. Worthe?”
“You bet. I don’t trust you will tell the story right. I’ve decided to go in with you and tell the story. All you have to do is moan and groan and hopefully make the hospital staff want to get yo out as soon as possible.”
“What is the story again. I was in shock when you told it before.”
“Damn Ben. You are the slowest you know that?”
“You want me to tell a different story then?”
“Just tell him, Mommy.”
“Okay, Ben. You were jumped by a gang, and then you passed out, and when you woke up, you had this wound.”
“Passed out. Why would I pass out?’
“You were hit on the head I suppose.”
“Wouldn’t I have a bump or something?”
“Bump where?”
“Well, on the head. If I passed out wouldn’t there be a sign I was hit?”
“Good point Ben. Alexis hand me that fireplace poker.”

This post is part of Just Jot it January. If you want to join in here is the link. Hurry the month is going fast. http://lindaghill.com/2015/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2016-rules/

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day #JusJoJan

January 20, 2016September 15, 2020 ~ John W. Howell ~ 26 Comments

Well, it is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we were rudely interrupted by a gunshot that came after Ben was trying to get Mrs. Worthe to give up the C4. The last thing we read was Alexis asking Ben, “Oh Ben what have you done?” I think we should get back there and find out what happened. Before we go, I have to ask, “Is anyone out there a doctor?” Since this is fiction, you just need to know how to play one. So let’s all gird our loins and see what’s going on.
“Alexis, I think I shot myself in the foot.”
“Well, this would be typical.”
“Mom, please. Can’t you see Ben is hurt.”
“I can see he is making a mess out of the carpet. Alexis go get a towel so we can stop this bleeding. Hurry up. We don’t want Ben to die right here.”
“You know I can hear you Mrs. Worthe.”
“Yes, Ben I’m well aware. Now lay down and put that foot in the air.”
“Boy, it really hurts.”
“I’m sure it does Ben. It doesn’t look too good either.”
“My, you are such a comfort.”
“I have the towel. What do we do know?”
“Alexis honey, pull off what’s left of that shoe and wrap the towel around his foot.”
“What was that noise?”
“Well look who woke up. Alexis tell your father Ben has shot himself.”
“I just heard you. What’s the matter you not talking to me?”
“Daddy, Mom, please. We need to help Ben.”
“In the service, we used to practice patching up wounds.”
“Oh, daddy. Do you know what to do?”
“Well, not really. We never had a live wound before.”
“Ben to people. I’m getting a little dizzy.’
“Hmm. Sounds like shock.”
“Okay, Daddy if it is shock what do we do?”
“We should call EMS.”
“Oh no, you don’t. How the hell are we going to explain dufus and the hole in his foot?”
“Trudy if we don’t get someone here Ben boy might just take a walk over the Rainbow Bridge.”
“Rainbow Bridge what are you talking about?”
“Shut up Ben. This doesn’t concern you.”
“Doesn’t concern me? I’m the one needing a doctor.”
“I’m trying to figure out how we can get you medical attention surreptitiously.”
“Surreptitiously?”
“Yes without alerting the authorities that you have a gunshot wound.”
“I say we drive him to the hospital and say he has had a hunting accident.”
“Good idea Alexis. How you going to explain he was hunting with a 9mm pistol.”
“Ben do you have a license to carry that thing?”
“The pistol? No. I just got it last week.”
“All of you listen to me. Alexis get Ben ready to move. My dear, you’re going to drive. We are taking Ben to the hospital and dropping him at the emergency entrance. Ben you are going to say you were attacked by a gang and then shot. You don’t remember anything about them, you were grabbed from behind and then the next thing you know you woke up with this wound. You all got that?”
“Yes, dear. Good plan.”
“Yes, mommy.”
“Ben. You got that? …Ben.”

This post is part of Just Jot it January. If you want to join in here is the link. Hurry the month is going fast. http://lindaghill.com/2015/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2016-rules/

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day #JusJoJan

January 6, 2016January 5, 2016 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

Wednesday story day again here and One-Liner Wednesday in some other places. Last time we witnessed Ben fall completely apart by acquiescing to the wishes of Alexis to prevent her from leaving him. We also got a little foreshadowing of the danger when Alexis’ father suggested to Ben that he run away. Of course, Ben did not take the hint and is now under Mrs. Wolfe’s and Alexis’ thumb. We need to go back and see if there is any redeeming value in this relationship. Don’t forget a clothes pin for your nose. It might come in handy.

“So Ben tell me all about your ability to make four separate detonation devices that will work.”
“Mrs. Worthe, I have already told you I have everything ready. All we need is the C4.”
“And you can make them set the charge off remotely?”
“Yes of course.”
“Very well. I will get you the C4. I think it should be put in place as soon as possible. These college students will be coming back mid-month. I think it will be easier to get the explosives in place while there are not so many witnesses.”
“With all the kids back I think it will be easier to deploy the devices.”
“How so Ben?”
“If there are more students Alexis and I won’t be noticed going into the student union. Also, the security camera videos will be harder to single Alexis and I out once the shit hits the fan. Yes, we will be in disguise, but if we are the only two students walking into the union, it won’t be though tracking us down.”
“Okay, you make a good point. Let’s shoot for the sixteenth. All the kids will be back and the union will be packed since it is a Saturday night. They still serve beer there right?”
“Yes, ma’am they do. It will be perfect.”
“Okay, this gives us about a week to make sure everything is ready. We will send our ransom demand on the following Monday.”
“Ooh, Mom. That’s perfect since that is the first day of classes and the whole campus will be filled.”
“Thank you, Alexis dear. Your mom still has a brain. Now Ben get me the schematics for the bombs. I want to look at them.”
“They are here in my backpack. I’ll pull them out.”
“Good boy.”
“Alright, Mrs. Wolfe do not move a muscle.”
“Ben what do you think you are going to do with that gun?”

This post is part of JusJoJan and if you would like to play go to the rules post. http://lindaghill.com/2015/12/31/just-jot-it-january-2016-rules/

Wednesday Story Day – AKA – Hump Day

December 16, 2015December 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 30 Comments

funny college4

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we saw Ben get a pair and tell Mrs. Wolfe what he thought of her little testing methods. She pushed him too far in asking him to beg for another chance. We are rejoining Ben, Alexis and the father in the living room. Here take this air sickness bag before you go. It might get a little turbulent in there.

“Hey here’s Ben, Where you been Ben?”

“Daddy those puns are the worst.”

“I’ve been with Trudy playing a scene out of Mrs. Robinson.”

“Which part did you take?”

“Very funny daddy. What are you talking about Ben?”

“Your mother is nuts. She was giving me the business like in the movie.”

“She came on to you?”

“Don’t worry Ben and Alexis. She does that all the time. I think it’s the gin that does it.”

“And you don’t care daddy?”

“Believe me, when I say anytime your mother is busy is a good time for me.”

“Daddy. I can’t believe you would just let her run wild.”

“I know sweetheart. It is a fact of life these days.”

“Sir?”

“Yes, Ben.”

“Is there any way we can get the explosives and leave Mrs Worthe out of it.”

“I’ll answer that question Ben boy.”

“Yikes Mrs Wolfe. You sure walk quietly.”

“The answer is no. This husband of mine takes orders from me. Right dear?”

“Yup Trudy. You are right as rain.”

“That’s good. Now let’s get down to business shall we?”

“Am I still in?”

“Shut up Ben. I’ll let you know when you’re out.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

November 25, 2015November 23, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 22 Comments

College

Wednesday story day again (already) and last week our happy thespians got a shock from Mrs. Wolfe. She laid out a plan to extort four million dollars by threatening to blow up the student union. We didn’t stay around long enough to get the kid’s reactions so let’s go back now and see what they have to say.

“Mom, you’ve got to be kidding. No one is going to turn over four million dollars just because we say we are going to blow up the student union.”

“No, you are right. You back it up with a plan to go ahead and blow it if they don’t pay.”

“So Mrs. Worthe, you are saying we plant the explosives and then only blow it if they don’t pay?”

“That’s right Einstein.”

“But Mrs. Worthe, what’s to stop them from going in and disarming the bombs?”

“I’m so glad I mentioned this plan. You people seem to be concentrating on all the wrong things. Let me explain one more time.”

“Mom, We are not stupid.”

“I think we can include your father in that group, but I’ll admit y’all have some brains.”

“Nice dear.”

“Okay now that we have heard from the entire peanut gallery here’s the plan. Ben you and Alexis go into the union about two weeks in advance. You place the explosives in the basement. They will be in containers labeled Fire Prevention do not Move or Touch. We can also add something like by order of the fire marshal. I think this kind of disguise will prevent the cleaning crew from messing with them.”

“Boy, I like that.”

“Thanks, Ben. Then we will use cell phone detonation devices so that we can control when the stuff goes off or not. Ben, you asked about someone disarming the devices. We will include in the letter that any attempt to disarm will cause immediate detonation. Also, I think we should double arm the device. If they should get to the cell phone, we can have another underneath the C4 to use. You can wire that can’t you Ben?”

“You bet Mrs. Worthe.”

“Good boy. So once we have everything in place, we send the letter.”

“Mom, how will we be able to collect the money?”

“Ah, my child. You just hit on the one thing that usually trips up folks who try to extort money from others. We are not going to have a physical drop. We all know the cops will be all over that spot and the minute we try a pick-up they got one of us. No, we are smarter.”

“What kind of drop my dear? I can’t think of an alternative.”

“That’s because your brain has been soaked in booze, my love. We are going to use an offshore account.”

“Mom they will be able to trace that kind of thing.”

“Not if it goes through several iterations and then ends up in a nonexistent account.”

“You can do that?”

“Of course. Your daddy and I have been using off-shore for some transactions. The nice thing is once you cross the Ukraine a couple of times data seems to disappear.”

“Mom you amaze me.”

“I amaze myself sometimes. How about a drink? I’m parched with all this talking.”

Wednesday – Story Day – AKA Hump Day

November 11, 2015November 10, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 14 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day and Veterans Day. First I want to thank all veterans and current active military personnel for their service and recognize this day as a celebration of their sacrifice.

Funny college572x700

Also, I’m back with a new episode of our continuing saga about Ben, Alexis, Mrs. Worthe, and dad. The last time we visited these troubled folks the two kids were asking the father about giving them some C4 explosives. The dad was almost convinced when in walks Mrs. Worthe. Let’s join the happy family.

“Mom what are you doing home so early?”

“For heaven’s sakes Alexis. I live here and can come and go as I please.”

“I-I know that. I mean we didn’t expect you to be here.”

“I’m well aware of that Alexis. You and Benny here were trying to convince your poor father to give you some explosives weren’t you?”

“Yes, dear. We were discussing the point. I was telling these two that I am worried about them blowing themselves up.”

“Yes, I heard you. You were just telling Alexis that you can’t deny her anything that she asks.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yes, I do. The fact that she hangs around this Ben character is evidence of your softness.”

“Come on dear. Let’s not make a scene.”

“There will be no scene and no C4 either.

“Aw, mom. You don’t run the plant. You don’t have a say. Does she daddy?”

“I’m afraid so. I sold the company to your mother a couple of months ago.”

“Why did you do that daddy? That was your father’s company.”

“I know. Sadly I just couldn’t make it profitable.”

“I can’t believe that. Mother, what did you do to daddy? That company has been making money for years.”

“Oh, shut up Alexis. I didn’t do anything. Your father here is a terrible business person is all. On top of his expensive habits that is.”

“What habits?”

“Go ahead dear tell your loving daughter about your proclivities to excess with wine, women, and song.”

Wednesday story Day – AKA Hump Day

October 21, 2015October 19, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 23 Comments

Wednesday story Day again which reminds us that last week Alexis and Ben were trying to manage some contingency plans in case Alexis’ father refused to give them some C4 explosives. Ben has an idea to use Ammonium Sulfate as a bomb. He knows that it will take more than he can carry so suggested they pack a van with the stuff. Alexis as a true Millennial refuses to be seen in a van and suggests a Porsche SUV instead. We need to go back and see Ben’s reaction. This should be good.

“A Porsche? What the hell Alexis? Do you know how hard those suckers are to steal?”

“Oh, I’m sure you have the skill to do it my genius man.”

“Now come on. Those things have alarm systems on top of systems. Even if we make a getaway all the owner has to do is use his smart phone to turn the thing off.”

“Okay, then what we have to do is convince my father to give us the C4.”

“He already said he would.”

“Wait till my mother gets her claws into him. She’ll paint a picture of boom and gloom so to speak.”

“Why is she so against this deal?”

“My guess? Cause she is jealous and wants in.”

“Let’s let her in then. A simple solution to me.”

“To you yes it would be. To me, it would be a nightmare.’

“How so?”

“Alexis do this. Alexis do that. Alexis, you’re not doing it right. OMG, I can see it all now.”

“Alright then. How do we get your dad to cough up the C4?”

“I think I will have to use some charm and try to poo-poo all the things mother tells him.”

“What will you say about the danger?”

“Daddy. We have detonators connected to timers. We will be long gone.”

“Yeah, that’s good. How about if he says it is too risky for him given he is one of the few C4 dealers around.”

“Daddy dear. Ben and I will fake a burglary at your place and then you will call the police just as soon as you discover the break-in. That will be the morning after the explosion.”

“Sounds good. I would go for it.”

“Is there any other argument he could come up with do you think?”

“He could say something to the effect that my mother is against it.”

“What will you say to that one?”

“Daddy dear. Would you like to see some pictures of mommy with Mr. Thompson.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

October 14, 2015October 12, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 28 Comments

Wednesday Story Day again and last time we spent some unpleasant moments with Mrs, Worthe. Ben, and Alexis. It looks like Mrs. Worthe is not going to allow the kids to get the C4 they need to blow up the Student Union until she talks to Alexis’ father. She seems to have it in her mind that this business of blowing things up may be dangerous and her child might get harmed. (never mind anyone else including Ben). Let’s get back to the scene.

“Well yo two kids stay out of trouble and thank you for the pizza.”

“You are very welcome Mrs. Worthe. Come back again.”

“If I thought you meant that Ben I would stay away just to be a pain.”

“I do mean it.'”

“Yeah, right. Give mommy a kiss Alexis. See you soon.”

“Bye Mom.”

“Whew, I’m glad she’s gone.”

“What was that crap about coming back again?”

“I thought I would brown nose her a little.”

“You really fooled her alright.”

“Anyway what if your dad won’t give us the C4?”

“I guess we will have to find some elsewhere. Any other ideas?”

“I think we could make a nifty bomb out of fertilizer.”

“Fertilizer? You nuts?”

“Not at all. The only problem is we wouldn’t be able to carry it in. We would have to put it in a van or something.”

“You are not going to be building a bomb around me out of smelly fertilizer.”

“It’s not smelly. It is granular and quite clean. It’s ammonium sulfate.”

“I don’t even want to hear about it. You say you need a van?”

“Yes we could steal a minivan─”

“Hold it. If you think I’m going to be seen in a minivan, you have really lost it.”

“The whole idea is not to be seen.”

“But we would have to drive it right?”

“No way I’m even getting in a mini-van.”

“Okay, okay. How about a BMW X5?”

“Hmm getting closer.”

“What then?”

“Porsche SUV.”

Wednesday Story Day – AKA Hump Day

September 16, 2015September 14, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 17 Comments

It is Wednesday Story Day again. Last week, we were a little surprised that the “other” project they are working on includes blowing up a building. (Talk about getting right to it right?) We left them at Alexis’ house as she and Ben began their discussion about the building. Alexis asked Ben about the destruction of the building since Ben mentioned the number of floors being more than he figured. Let’s join them.

“Yes, Alexis the whole building will be destroyed. It’s going to take some more planning.”

“What planning?”

“Well, I’m going to accommodate the additional story that I hadn’t counted on.”

“Is this a big deal?”

“It will mean a few more pounds of explosives is all.”

“So we will just carry in more each time but the plan still holds right?”

“Yeah it still holds.”

“Why didn’t you notice the extra floor when you walked around the building?”

“I think it was a stupid mistake. The land slopes and there are more stories on the back than the front. I didn’t go inside to look at the floors. I figured the plans would give us all the information we needed. Besides I didn’t want a bunch of security camera shots of me wandering around a building when I had no business being there.”

“I can see that. Okay, no harm no foul. Any guess at how much more we will need?”

“I would say an additional ten pounds a corner.”

“Holy shit, that’s forty pounds a carry. You not concerned about someone seeing you with forty pounds of explosives?”

“The backpacks I planned on using will take care of the extra weight. No one will see.”

“I don’t think I can carry that weight.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have to lug it all in.”

“Any problem with that?”

“Only the disguises I will need to have. I was counting on just two now without you I will need four.”

“If that’s all I think we’re okay.”

“We’re okay. There’s the door. Must be the pizza guy.”

“I’ll get it.”

Wednesday Story Day – Conclusion – AKA Hump Day

August 26, 2015August 25, 2015 ~ John W. Howell ~ 31 Comments

"So what do you do?" "I'm a writer." "No I mean what do you do for money?" — “So what do you do?” “I’m a writer.” “No I mean what do you do for money?”

Wednesday Story Day again. Last week we left poor Charlotte calling for Bob to come out and help her with Robert. (If you just joined this craziness you have to know Bob has an alternate personality named Robert, who is obsessed with him and Bob’s mother. All is clear right? Good). We need to get back since it is clear Robert is getting a little (Understatement) carried away. He still sees Charlotte as his mother Melissa with whom he has admitted to an unhealthy attraction. Buckle up kids here we go.

“Robert I demand that you let go of my arm.”

“Yeah, mommy and whatcha going to do if I don’t?”

“Why do you keep calling me mommy?”

“Because you are our mama.”

“I’m Charlotte Robert. I’m not your mother.”

“You can keep fooling Bob, but I know the truth.”

“So Robert tell me the truth.”

“You keep telling Bob you are a teacher hired by our mother.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“It’s a lie. You are our mother and you are trying to sabotage Bob’s writing.”

“And if I were your mother, why would I want to do that?”

“Because you know Bob has written a story about you and what you did to us when we were younger. You can’t find the story to destroy it, so you think the next best thing is to make sure Bob has no confidence in himself to publish it.”

“This sounds like a madman’s tale. Tell me who is going to listen to a couple of crazy personalities? You are split personalities and in anyone’s book totally nuts.”

“Then why are you so worried.”

“I’m not worried Robert. In fact, I’m telling you to let me go or something bad is going to happen to you.”

“You can’t scare me, Melissa.”

“How did you know it was me.?”

“Your eyes have a slight shade of green that gets darker when you are Melissa and not Charlotte.”

“So where does this leave us?”

“I think you are going to die.”

“Over my dead body. Excuse the joke Robert but you don’t have what it takes to kill me.”

“Why not keep shooting off your mouth and see.”

“Shut up Robert now. Let me go or I will have to use this.”

“You have a gun. Quell dramatic. Go ahead shoot your son.”

“Don’t think I won’t?”